Awaken Me With Your Kiss
by Beryl Butterfly
Summary: Bella's near death experience awakens her to the true source of her devotion and love in the Cullen family. How can she follow her heart without tearing apart her family? Bella/Alice yes this is femslash, you are warned.
1. A Lingering Touch x alice x

**AN: You are hearby warned: This story is a femslash Bella/Alice story. If you do not like such stories do not read it. This chapter is rated T but some future chapters will be rated M.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, who would throttle me for what I have done to them.**

**A Lingering Touch**

The visions won't quit replaying, taunting me, torturing me, constantly reminding me of how I failed her. I should have known, I should have realized that it was not James who's mind had changed but Bella. The way Bella hid from me while talking with her mom, the shallow, empty, fearful voice she had spoken in when she hung up. These all should have alerted me to the fact that something was dreadfully wrong with Bella.

What type of best friend misses clues as big as those. Some psychic I've turned out to be. I thought her incapable of lying; I assumed precisely as she had wanted me to, that she was simply scared. What normal person wouldn't be scared to have a psychotic blood thirsty vampire chasing them cross country for the sole purpose of murder. But no, not my Bella. Bella chooses instead to offer herself up, hand herself over, sacrifice herself for an implied, false, hostage. Bella chooses love over life; now she fights for her own. Edward connected the dots. Edward got there on time. Edward saved her life. All I could do was sit and watch holding her hand. I have never felt so useless in my very long life.

Bella, dear, sweet, soft, trusting, loving, precious Bella lays before me now in a medically induced coma, pale and broken barely clinging to life. Two seconds, that's all it would have taken. Two seconds longer and Bella would be no more. If Edward had arrived two seconds later Bella would not be lying in this bed in the ICU. Bella would be lying cold and unresponsive in the morgue, never again to laugh her enchanting laugh, never again to complain as I dressed her and did her hair forcing her to be the beautiful sensual young woman she is, never again to take my hand as she leads me where she wants us to go. Losing her would have been my fault. Taking her hand in mine I will her to come back to us quickly; I will her to hear me, to feel me here with her. Leaning in I whisper in her ear, my lips just touching the soft skin of her earlobe.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I'm so sorry I didn't see." I inhale the fragrance of her hair, the strawberry scent lacking after days of not being washed properly. The scent of her dried blood lingers calling to the beast in me, but is overridden by the shame caused by knowing her blood would have never been spilled had I just paid attention. I inhale deeply again letting her scent lash against my heart punishing myself for my carelessness.

"Please come back to me Bella. I love you, I don't want to loose you. Please come back." I whisper once again pulling back to look at her beautiful face peaceful in its unnatural stillness. I slowly bring my lips to graze lightly against the bandage covering the large gash on her head once again breathing in the smell of her injury as a punishment for my oversight. Lowering my head I raise her wrist to my mouth kissing the gauze wrapping over the bite James inflicted upon her, then each of her fingers on that hand. With each kiss silently willing her to get better and reprimanding myself for letting her put herself in danger.

"Never again Bella, you will never get hurt again because of me. I promise." Lifting my head from her hand I carefully lay it on her stomach never releasing my fingers, letting them lay intertwined with hers. Her hair has fallen forward covering one eye, hiding half of her face from my view. I reach out lovingly and push her silken hair out of her face tucking it behind her perfectly shaped ear letting my fingers graze lightly over the skin of her ear and neck as I bring my hand back. So perfect, how can any human be so perfect and yet be so unaware of how amazing she is.

The need to touch her, to feel her body heat, to know she is still alive is overwhelming. I hesitantly reach toward her again laying my hand against her neck feeling the blood pulse just beneath the smooth ivory skin. My hand slides forward caressing her neck and collarbone. Her soft skin is smooth over her delicate collar bone, so soft and delicate yet she is so strong. She is braver than any member of our family. She fearlessly marched toward death knowing she could not win.

My gaze intent upon her stunning face, even while unconscious and covered in bandages her beauty is undeniable. Her eyes flutter the smallest amount as if dreaming, the blood flowing so rhythmically through her veins increases its pace, the coloring in her cheeks deepens to a pale pink. My breath catches as I watch her face flush at my touch. Even in her state of unconsciousness she blushes; what causes me to falter though is the knowledge that she is blushing at my touch. Does she know it's me; or is she dreaming it's Edward touching her like this.

Overwhelming love, and the desire to show my love to her, grips me creating an uneasy feeling in my core. Nervously I lean toward her placing my cold hard cheek carefully against hers, breathing in her breath, feeling the heat of her blush against my face. A low moan escapes my lips as I close my eyes relishing in the feeling of Bella, breathing her breath in and letting it fill me as if I would die without it. I place my hand on her other cheek as a feeling of completeness and utter content fills me. Moving my head slightly to the side I let my lips glance upon hers, letting my bottom lip drag along hers breathing through my mouth to taste the sweet essence of her breath. Never have I felt so right. This, Bella, feels like home.

I sit for a long while holding Bella's warm face between my hands looking around the drab room. White sterile walls lit by the unnatural flickering fluorescent lighting. A small useless window looks to the north into a covered courtyard, its industrial vertical blinds yellowing from age. The spotless white linoleum flooring reflecting the glare from the overhead lights harshly. Bella's monitors beep continually moderating the flow of her I.V., checking her blood pressure, oxygen level, and heart rate and occasionally loudly printing out a status report. This is not what I want Bella to see when she wakes up. I know ICU rules will restrict me from redecorating much but there are a few things I can ge`t to make Bella's re-entry into the land of the living nicer.

A slight haze covers my sight, still transparent but pulling me away fast as a buzzing begins ever so softly in my ears. I close my eyes letting the coming vision take me out of this room for only a moment. _Edward sits in the padded blue plastic chair, his head bowed into the fold of his arms as his hands hold Bella's uninjured hand delicately. His shoulders heave with his dry sobs as he whispers inaudible apologies. Bella's eyes flicker open several times before glancing around the room with a look of confusion. Responding to her increase in heart rate Edward looks up, forcing a smile to replace his look of anguish. "Bella." He sighs gently running his fingers through her hair, straightening the knotted mess as well as he can . Bella tries smiling up at him, but cringes in pain at the simple movement. Guilt floods Edward's face dismissing the fragile smile. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." _

_Bella's eyes close ever so slightly as she stares at Edward. "No, it was my choice. I'm sorry. I should have never ran off. Please forgive me." She asks, her voice scratchy and quiet from days of disuse. _

_"Silly Bella" Edward chuckles although his mirth does not reach his eyes. Bella glances around the room once more painfully raising an eyebrow slightly as she takes in the light blue sheer material flowing around the room, taking in the small delicately embroidered silver floral pattern. A small antique porcelain desk lamp sits on her bedside table coordinating with the fabric and casting a warm light through the room. A row of get well cards are opened and resting up on the ledge of a small window. _

_"What's" Bella stops speaking and slowly extends her small unbandaged hand around the room in question. _

_Edward smiles once more. "Alice." He laughs lightly. "She thought you would like this better than a plain hospital room." A wistful expression graces Bella's face as she brings her fingers to rest lightly against her lips pausing for a moment to look around the room. "You just have to love Alice." _

As the vision closes I glance around the room. Yes, I definitely need to redecorate. The door creaks as Edward enters the room and walks to Bella's side dejectedly. "It's going to be okay Edward. She'll be waking up in a few hours." I whisper.

Edward simply nods his head and turns back to stare at Bella. "I'll be back in a little while, I'm going to go get something to brighten up the room for when she wakes up." I tell him sweeping in to place a sisterly kiss on his cheek. "It's all going to be okay."

I close the door behind me listening for a moment to Edward's quiet apologies and sobs.

**Hey guys, this is my first ever fan fic; I'm a little nervous about what you all are going to think so please please please let me know what you like or what I need to work on. My big sister read it for me before I posted it, but she's the one that told me the blue and yellow striped rhino that I painted in fifth grade looked just like real, so yah, she's not a reliable judge. ***PLEASE*** sad puppy eyes.**


	2. My Angel x bella x

**I want to give a huge thanks to Jocelyn Torrent for taking my work and polishing it to perfection! I could not ask for a better beta!**

**As always, all character and most of the plot points of this story belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer who I am sure would not aprove of fem slash. LOL But hey she's the one who made us all fall in love with Bella and Alice.**

**A Painful Awakening**

**Bella**

A quiet, repetitive beeping noise is slowly driving me insane. I struggle trying to open my eyes. Fifty pound weights seem to be weighing down each eyelid. With each small slit of my eye that I manage to pry open, thousands of shards of glass scratch at my eyeballs. I close my eyes again, trying to remember what has happened to me. Pain radiates from every inch of my body, exacerbated in several areas. My head feels as if an ax has been lodged six inches deep, cutting through my scull and slicing into my brain. Thought is not an easy ability right now.

Blood seems to be stopping in my hips, leaving my throbbing right leg to feel tingly and stiff. Breathing is not without its punishment either. Each breath I take fills my lungs with a burning sensation as if I were breathing sulfuric fumes. A tight band around my pained chest restricts the depth of my breaths. A small fire burns in my arm, spreading the entire length, but focusing on one area just inches above my wrist. It's as if that one spot was the epicenter of some raging wildfire that has been mostly contained, leaving only the core to burn itself out naturally.

I continue taking note of all the sore places on my body as I try to figure out what has caused this amount of pain. Never have I been hurt this badly. Why is nobody trying to help me, am I dead, is this Hell?

The voice of an angel rings from above, bringing with it a cool breeze that eases the rampaging throe in my head. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry I didn't see," the angel whispers, placing a cold soothing kiss on my ear. Peace floods through me, reassuring me that, no, I am not in Hell. There are no angels sent to relieve ones pain in Hell, but there is no pain in Heaven as far as I know.

"Please come back to me, Bella. I love you; I don't want to lose you. Please come back," the angel pleads, calling me once again by name. The musical cadence of the seraph's voice stirs a memory in my soul. A picture of golden eyes lit with unshared knowledge and mischief fill my mind.

Another soothing breeze graces my head, lighting upon the ax wound, kissing the pain away with its cold lips. The icy touch erases my discomfort, allowing me to think more clearly. The camera I am viewing my limited memory of this angel through pans downward. It's highlighting lush, light rose colored lips turned up at the corners in a joyous smile, lips often graced with laughter.

The narcotic breeze encircles the fire of my wrist, smothering the flames as if sucking the necessary oxygen away from them, leaving my wrist sore but no longer burning. Once again, with the pain lowered, the camera begins to pan out, increasing my view of this enchanting angel of mercy. A hint of recognition begins to form. I stare at the lovely face in my mind trying to place the delicate feminine features. A warm affection grows for the being behind the image. Cool electricity races up each finger of my hand, expanding its breadth and reach. It arches outward till the powerful tingling is running up the length of my arm, completely extinguishing any small flames that have rekindled after the cool breeze passed.

My angel speaks to me again, her dancing voice tinkling like pure, silver wind chimes. "Never again, Bella, you will never get hurt again because of me. I promise." I know this is true; my angel would never hurt me. She is here to heal me, to bring me relief from this endless, all consuming pain.

Strong fingers wrap around mine, calming me with their presence, reminding me that she will never let me go again. Cold silk brushes across my face, easing the stress from my brow and tracing a path for the remaining pain to follow. Pressure spreads, easing its intensity. The cool caress continues to cause the cold electric current to begin spreading through my tight neck, relaxing the muscles I have unwittingly clenched.

All too soon the comforting silken touch is withdrawn, leaving my muscles to tighten once again in discomfort. Without my angel's touch the pain will not stay back. It creeps forward from every wound, every injury screaming, demanding attention, exacting its revenge for not taking better care of my body.

My angel replaces her healing hand upon my throat, cooling my overheated, accelerated pulse. The frosts of her touch chilling the fever in my blood and bringing me sweet relief. Lovingly and softly her gentle caress moves along my neck, gracing my collarbone with the gentlest of touches, pausing just above my heart as if willing me to remember her more fully. I focus once again on the beautiful, majestic face that goes with the magically healing touch, and the light airy voice that has been singing to me, calling me out of my pained darkness.

My face burns this time with desire as I dream of my beautiful angel, wishing I could remember her fully for surely I have lived my life for no other purpose than to be loved by her. The comforting chill of her touch consumes my face; her hand embraces me tenderly while her soft velvet cheek rests lovingly against my own. The cool breeze of her breath clouds my senses with the irresistible perfume of cherry blossoms and a light citrus scent.

The memory of my angel's perfect face becomes slightly clearer, dazzling in its beauty, radiant as if lit from within. I know that if I only reach a little further I will know her identity. I am so close to remembering fully. I try to force the name of this merciful being in my mind but it lingers just out of reach. A high, trembling sound echoes around me as if heaven itself were celebrating this woman's touch; a deeper breeze carrying with it a much stronger version of my angel's scent engulfs me.

Brilliant light flares in my mind, illuminating the face of my beloved as her cool lips graze ever so lightly across my own, sharing her breath with me. I breathe the wintry air she gives me deeply into my lungs, numbing the acidic burn. I gaze into the face of my angel without confusion as I breathe her life giving breath. Alice. My beloved angel, my friend, my savior from this pain. If ever her touch is taken from me, surely I will die. I bask in my lack of pain, enjoying her simple touch, her gentle caress more than words could ever hope to define. I was right; there is no pain in heaven.

A sad voice interrupts our peaceful moment. This voice too is familiar. It has a similar musical nature to my Alice's voice, but is deeper and more troubled, like the notes of an oboe playing a forlorn tune of mourning. I yearn to comfort the poor soul that feels such sorrow. My angel has brought me such joy, releasing me from my captivity of pain; I want to share this healing with this poor creature. An icy touch embraces my hand, soothing in the love it offers but lacking in the electricity and healing; my angel has left. She has left me to care for this hurting soul; it's my turn now to be the one who brings healing.

My eyes search for the source of light that had illuminated my angel's beautiful face, the light that led me to Alice, and showed me the way out of my darkness. I must find this light to reach this poor man, to make him better. The weight placed upon my eyelids has been removed, the glass shards swept away. I open my eyes to a soft light filling a strange room. The incessant electronic beeping has not ceased and begins to once again grate on my nerves as I look around the room, searching for the sorrowful person I must try to bring joy to.

A lovely bronze haired boy sits beside my bed, holding my hand securely in both of his, his head bowed, and his shoulders moving with his sobs. I search for a name to match this man, wanting to call him by name and assure him that all is well. He lifts his head, staring directly into my eyes, forcing a small, crooked smile upon his lips. Edward. Edward, my boyfriend. Alice's brother, the one who rescued me from my certain death.

"Bella," Edward sighs, his voice barely above a whisper as he runs his fingers through my matted hair, causing it to pull at the roots in a mildly painful way. Focusing on the muscles surrounding my mouth I try to flex them to form a reassuring smile. The bruised flesh on my cheeks screams in retaliation for this simple movement; I immediately let my forced smile fall not willing to endure the pain to maintain it. Edward allows his false smile to falter as well. He whispers softly, barely audible as he leans in toward me his eyes moving from each injury to the next. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry."

He is blaming himself for my injuries, silly vampire. I can't let him go on beating himself up for my stupid choice. I'm the one who put myself in James' reach. I went to him willingly believing he had my mother; I never expected the Cullens to find me and come to my rescue. I had been prepared to die trying to barter for the life of my mom, but I had not prepared myself for the aftermath of my actions. I did not think there would be any other consequences than death, but looking up into the pained eyes of Edward, seeing the life sucked out of his gaze, I realize my actions affected everyone else just as much as they affected me.

"No, it was my choice. I'm sorry. I should have never run off. Please forgive me," I plead, forcing the air to move across my sore vocal cords, the sound distorting, coming out soft and gravelly.

"Silly Bella," Edward replies, a heavy laughter tainting his voice but not lightening his dour expression or dull eyes. He will not accept that my injuries are my own fault and I know trying to argue to convince him of such is pointless. I decide instead to change the subject. I gaze around the room searching for a lighter topic. The hospital room resembles no hospital room I have ever stayed in, and I've seen quite a few.

Sweeping my left, uninjured hand, (probably the only part of my body not in some degree of pain) around the room I force a single word to life through my protesting throat. "What's…?"

Edward's face lights up with the first genuine smile I have seen since awakening. A light hearted laugh accompanies his answer. "Alice. She thought you would like this better than a plain hospital room." He pauses for a moment, staring at the light material draping the dreary walls. "You've got to love Alice." He laughs, shaking his head slightly in amusement.

Tears well in my eyes as I once again take in the simple yet beautiful room surrounding me. What have I ever done to deserve a friend as wonderful as my Alice? Edward reaches forward, holding my hand gently as he stares into my eyes, his own swirling with emotion. His pain, regret, and worry stir dark lines through his golden irises. All the darkness in his eyes is drowned by one single emotion. Love.

If I have ever doubted that Edward loves me that doubt is demolished by one glimpse of the raw emotion shining upon me now, taking away my breath.

I lean forward, infinitesimally drawn in by his gaze, longing to feel his cold lips caressing my own. A burst of light and pain streak through my brain, blinding me with its ferocity. Edward's eyes darken instantly, his face turning to emotionless stone as he leans away from me. All signs of love and tenderness wiped from his face and posture as he stiffens in chair staring at me distantly.

"Edward?" I ask panic making my voice squeaky. "Edward, what did I do?"

"Nothing. You're hurt. You need to relax. I'll go get the nurse to give you some more pain meds," he answers coldly, refusing to make eye contact. A shiver of fear runs down my spine as he turns and walks out the door. I don't want to go back to sleep. I don't want to rest. I want to know what just happened.

The heavy set nurse walks in the room carrying a large syringe. I cringe, pulling my uninjured arm closer to my body, ignoring the pain the fast yet small movement sends radiating down my spine.

The nurse smiles in what I assume she means to be a reassuring way, but it's more like a superior smirk. "Don't worry, hon, this won't hurt a bit," her chuckle scrapes my nerves as she turns away, plunging the needle into a port on my IV.

A haze distorts my vision, sounds becoming muffled, I try moving my arm to reach for Edward's hand. I don't want to be alone. The muscles in my arm refuse to respond feeling as if made of cotton rather than firm bone and muscle. My eyes close against my will; as fear circles me in the darkness. The memory of a tinkling laugh fills my mind. I'm not alone. In a final act of rebellion against the pain meds my lips curl into a smile as I float back into the wonderful dream of my angel.

**If you liked it please leave me a note letting me know. If you really didn't like it leave a flame. I'll just use it to light a bon fire and rost veggie kabobs over.**

**Oh and if your worried that I am going to constantly do each chapter from different points of view, don't. I just had to do it for this chapter.**


	3. For Eternity x alice x

**I bow to the awesome beta work of Jocelyn Torrent once again. Thank you.**

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**For Eternity**

**Alice**

Jasper and I sit in Bella's hospital room watching her sleep peacefully. Guilt thickens the air as I stare at her.

"Alice, you need to quit blaming yourself for this," Jazz whispers, touching my shoulder lightly, easing my contrition. "She does not blame you."

"I know. She blames herself, and that only makes it worse," I answer, hanging my head as I stroke Bella's hand, soothing myself with the simple contact. "The things I see possibly happening aren't good, Jazz."

"We'll just have to make sure those things don't happen. Alice, I know how deeply you care for her. I also know how much Edward loves her; he would never hurt her," Jasper attempts to reassure me.

"I'm not so sure about that," I answer in a whisper. Too many visions of Edward deciding it would be best for Bella if we had never become a part of her life. Premonitions of him ordering our entire family to move and stop all contact with Bella have become a regular plague throughout the last few days. Each time these visions took me away from reality I returned a little more desperate to cling more firmly to Bella. Edward is deluding himself if he thinks leaving Bella behind will be good for her or for our family.

A light from the hallway spills in through the opening door brightening the room. "Bella!" A woman in her mid forties gasps, running across the room to stand beside me. Tears streak down her face, causing her mascara to run and leaving black trails down both cheeks. Even in her disheveled state Bella's mother is beautiful. It is easy to see what Bella would look like in another twenty years.

I smile, remembering everything Bella has told me about her mother. "You must be Renee," I say standing up to offer her my chair, "I'm Alice, Bella's best friend. This is my brother, Jasper."

"Oh yes, hi, dear," she answers distractedly turning back to Bella.

"She should be waking up pretty soon," I tell her. Looking back down at Bella I know I should give her and her mother some time alone, but I cannot pull away from her. The distresses my recent visions have left me with make it impossible for me to let her out of my sight for even the shortest amounts of time. If Edward is going to order the family to leave her behind I want to spend every moment I can with her before I have to say goodbye.

"Thank you," Renee replies. "How long has she been sleeping?"

"She fell asleep right after they gave her pain medicine about six hours ago. Bella's still in a lot of pain and is only able to stay awake for a couple of hours at a time before needing more medication. The doctors are beginning to lower her doses; hopefully she'll be able to remain alert for longer periods of time." Jasper answers from the corner.

"You said you're Jasper and Alice, right?" Renee asks apologetically. "I'm sorry, Bella speaks of your family all the time, but with so many children I do tend to confuse who she is speaking about."

"Yes, I'm Alice," I confirm. "I understand where you would get confused; we do have a large family."

"Where's…" she pauses looking as if she is trying to swallow an exceptionally unpleasant substance, "Edward?"

Jasper laughs from the other side of the room. I try desperately to keep from joining him as he projects Renee's intense feeling of disdain and his own mirth toward me. Even in her sleep Bella's lips curl up into a small smile as if hearing a silent joke in her dreams.

"Oh, he had to go get something to eat." I answer, barely managing to keep a straight face. "He won't be back for a couple of hours. Our mom ordered him to return to the hotel for at least a short rest before returning. He's barely left Bella's side the last four days."

"Mmm," Renee mumbles. "I see. How serious are they?"

I look to Jasper for a clue as to how I should answer her question. He raises his eyebrows and lifts his head slightly telling me the answer is up to me. "I really don't know. I mean, I guess they're just like normal I guess." I explain hoping I sound like a seventeen year old girl should.

"Well, that sounds just fine. I'm glad you and Bella are such good friends." Renee pauses, obviously in deep thought, worry creases her brow just a bit, making her look older. "If he ever hurts her you will still be there for her right? I mean, I understand you being his sister will make it awkward for you. I just worry about the fact that the only friends Bella ever seems to speak about are all a part of your family. I'm afraid that when their relationship ends she will have no one to turn to."

"Oh," I answer a little stunned by Renee's blunt statement.

"Honey, don't tell me you haven't thought about that. Bella is always telling me how you seem to know exactly what's going to happen." She claims, looking judgingly at me.

"I guess, I've never really thought about it," I answer, feigning innocence to cover up my surprise at just how astute Bella's mother really is. Bella has always portrayed her as being flighty, but she has obviously seen the truth between the words Bella has shared with her. "I love Bella like she's my own sister; I wouldn't give that up just because she was no longer with my brother," I declare after only a moment's hesitation.

The truth of my statement hits me as I stare down at Bella, my hand still caressing her arm gently the entire time I was speaking with her mother. No, I will never leave Bella. Whatever Edward chooses will be his decision alone. Firm in my declaration I let go of the discord my recent visions have sewn, knowing I can shape my own future. I can save Bella from the despair his leaving would cause should he choose to destroy their relationship with his self loathing masochism.

"Good," Renee says smiling down at me and patting my hand that rested on Bella's. "I'm glad she has you."

"Um, Alice," Jasper disrupts the silence that had gathered in Bella's room. "I really need to go; I'm not feeling so well."

"Okay Jazz. I think I'm going to stay here tonight. Do you mind letting Dad know where I'll be?" I ask, making sure to keep up appearances for our company.

Renee sits down in the chair I had vacated while I walk across the room and pull the chair Jasper had been occupying closer to the side of Bella's bed opposite Renee. We sit in a quiet peace, both lost in our thoughts as we watch Bella sleeping soundly. The light from her bedside lamp casts shadows upon her face, her still matted hair framing it, a reminder that all is not well.

Bella's eyes begin fluttering back and forth quickly beneath her slightly bruised lids. "Astounding bunnies," she exclaims, a goofy grin spreads erasing the gloom from her appearance.

Renee and I look at each other before breaking into stress relieving laughter. "She'll be waking up soon; she always talks just before she wakes up," Renee informs me, shaking her head at some memories of past gems that have fallen from Bella's sleeping lips.

"She's definitely an entertaining sleeper. This is the first time she's spoken in her sleep since the accident though. I guess this is a good sign," I smile in return.

Renee's eyebrow lifts in curiosity. "She hasn't spoken about having any sleepovers."

Oh crap. I can't exactly tell her that Edward told me about her sleep talking, nor could I explain that I can see her almost anytime I want to by searching for her future. "Oh, I guess she forgot to mention it. I slept over just a couple of weeks ago. I drank too much soda and couldn't sleep so I got to hear her talking almost all night long. She's really funny when she sleeps." I reply, giggling with the hope that it doesn't sound nervous.

"Mom?" Bella asks, her deep rich mahogany eyes taking in her mother's tear stained appearance. "Are you okay, Mom?"

"Oh, Bella! Yes honey, I'm just fine. Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" She jokes as tears begin streaming down her face once more. "Bella, when I got that call I thought I had lost you."

"I'm sorry, Mom," Bella apologizes, tears glistening in her eyes as well. "I should have known better," she whispers, looking over to me, her eyes shining with a silent plea for forgiveness.

"Silly Bella," I laugh squeezing her hand gently staring into her mournful eyes, "we'll just have to keep you away from any stairwells in the future." Her eyes brighten in understanding causing my still heart to swell with longing.

"Bella, really, I know you can't walk across smooth pavement without injuring yourself somehow, but you can't blame yourself for falling. Just please try to be more careful; I don't want to lose you," Renee leans forward kissing Bella's cheek.

Renee, Bella and I enjoy chatting for the next couple of hours. We tell stories of the school year thus far. We laugh about the other students of Forks, regaling Renee with tales of the ever incorrigible Mike Newton who is still so sure he can win Bella's affections. Renee, in turns, fills Bella in on everything that has happened to her and Phil in the months since Bella moved to Forks. Renee is a woman I could come to enjoy. Her banter is light and the conversation flows easily.

Renee is sharing Phil's experience in his first minor league game for his new team when the ever familiar haze clouds my vision. I force my eyes to remain open for appearances sake but let my mind wander embracing the approaching scene.

_Tall buildings surround me as a familiar shadow approaches stealth-fully. "Jazz?" I ask timidly. The crouching figure stands erect, turning in the other direction and dashes away. Curiosity consumes me as I run after him._

_He springs over a high wall without slowing down. I prepare for the jump. I leap straight up but fall short of the ledge by twenty feet, grabbing onto a narrow edge of uneven brick with my fingertips, thrusting myself the remaining distance as the brick I pressed against crumbles into red dust. I search the alley below me, opening all of my senses, trying to find a trace of my love. He's gone; even his scent has dispersed in the faint ocean breeze._

"Alice!" Renee's panicked voice breaks through the fog. Her hands are on my shoulders, shaking me slightly in an attempt to break me out of my trance. "Alice!"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I must have dazed out," I say half heartedly still trying to figure out what could lead to the event I had just witnessed.

"Bella, you didn't tell me Alice was epileptic. I'm going to get a doctor in here right now," Renee pushes from her chair and turns toward the door.

"No, no, I'm okay really," I reply, pulling myself together enough to remember the story Carlisle concocted for such occasions. "It's just absence seizures really, there's nothing to worry about. They happen all the time, don't they, Bella?"

"Yah, they happen all the time." Bella answers without faltering, though she gives me a questioning look her mother does not see.

"Later," I whisper before addressing Renee again, "I'm fine now, no worries."

"Well, if you're sure, dear," I nod my head, assuring her everything is copacetic. Renee looks down at her watch, as I have removed the wall clock from the room. The slow passage of time had driven me insane while I waited for Bella to awaken the first time.

"I need to go get dinner, and Phil should be calling the hotel room soon. I'll be back tomorrow. Are you going to be okay here by yourself tonight?" She asks, looking torn between leaving her daughter and missing her husband's phone call.

"I'll be fine, Mom. Besides I'm not alone," Bella replies. lifting our still interlinked hands together. "My best friend is here."

Renee once again gives me an appraising glance, as if seeing beyond my external facade. A twinge of discomfiture causes me to shift slightly, rolling my neck as if I had a sore muscle. A knowing smile spreads. Renee's eyes burn with a secret suspicion. "You said you're spending the night right?"

"Yes," I answer serenely.

"I think you're in good hands," Renee leans over, giving Bella one last kiss on the forehead. "I love you sweetheart," She looks over at me, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Quickly she places a kiss on my brow. "Thank you for taking care of my baby girl."

"It's my pleasure," I respond, meaning it with all my being. Not that I am happy about the need to take care of Bella, but I will be eternally grateful that Bella is allowing me to show her how much I care. Allowing me to express what she means to me with simple actions, not questioning the true reason I refuse to leave her side.

Bella squeezes my hand as soon as the door shuts behind her mother. I turn away from the door to look more closely at her. Her coloring has improved drastically, her eyes shine with life and curiosity. "What did you see? You looked very worried," she asks sweetly.

"I'm not sure yet. The vision was incomplete, a little cloudy, still too far away to be solid. It may never happen" I answer.

"Okay," she replies chewing on her lower lip till it's bright with the blood drawn up under her skin. "Alice?" She pauses once again pulling her lower lip between her teeth. I smile at her nervous habit.

"Will you sit on the bed and hold me?" Bella asks, her voice no stronger than the breeze caused by a butterflies fluttering wing.

Without answering I crawl up on the bed, careful of her casted leg still in a traction sling and her numerous other injuries. Once I settle into the pillows behind her I reach out, wrapping one arm behind her back. My other arm stretches around her stomach; I interlock my fingers on her hip and lean my head into her shoulder.

"You really did scare us," I whisper. She exhales deeply, bringing her head down to rest on mine. "You scared me. Please don't ever scare me like that again."

"I promise, Alice. I will never run from you again," Bella's warm breath blows through my disheveled hair. She inhales, sighing quietly. Her lips press gently in my hair as she breathes in my scent one more time.

A serene silence surrounds us. I listen to the steady beat of Bella's heart, pacing my breathing to match the rhythm of hers. Bella brings her uninjured arm to rest on my own lying across her torso. Her fingers dance across my skin, sending pleasant chills up my arm.

"You stayed with me, didn't you? I mean, before I woke up," Bella asks contentedly.

"Until the very end. I had to leave; Edward needed to be here with you when you woke."

"I remember," She replies breathily.

I turn to look up at her. Bella's mesmerizing eyes burn with emotion as she stares back down at me. "I remember your touch, your words," she whispers, leaning in and placing her forehead against my own. Our breath mingling as we breathe heavily, neither of us willing or able to break our gaze away.

Bella's silken pale lips beset mine. Fire burns within me beginning where our lips lovingly caress and spreading throughout my entire body. My mind screams that I should not be allowing this. I should not be enjoying this amorous embrace with Bella, but my body and my mind do not agree. I bring one hand to rest on the side of Bella's face as the fingertips of my other hand trace the contours of her neck.

Bella's hand rises to caress my cheek, following the curve of my jaw before trailing down the front of my neck and resting over my frozen heart. She breathes in deeply before pulling just far enough away to rest her forehead upon my own and stare into my eyes again.

My entire body shakes in exultation as I drown in the dark pools reflecting the incontestable beauty of her soul. "I love you too Alice," Bella whispers.

I watch wordlessly, for speech has failed me, as the fire in her eyes dims and fades away. Her hand falls from my heart and she pulls her face away from mine, wrapping her arm around her chest.

"I love you, but Edward needs me. He's so broken right now, and I could never hurt him," Bella whispers as tears flood her eyes.

"I know. I understand, Bella. I love you, but Jasper needs me. I could never hurt him either," I whisper as my body quakes in furious denial of my words. A deep chill creeps through my body, fortifying the stone of my limbs making movement impossible, and shattering my crystallized heart.

"You will always be my best friend, Alice."

"I know Bella, for eternity."

**AN: Leaving reviews creates good karma. Good karma creates great dreams. So tell me what you think and sleep happier. ;-)**

**To be continued...  
**


	4. Aching x alice x

Thanks again to the best beta ever Jocelyn Torrent for correcting my many flaws in this chapter and adding a single word that made it soooo much better! You are amazing.

AN: This chapter is for excalita, who's review made me cry. You are so sweet! besos!

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of the twilight characters. They and their hearts belong to another.

**Aching** (Alice)

The luminescent crescent of moon lights my way as I race through the desert. The hot press of the dry desert wind does nothing to alleviate my shame. I run onward, further away from civilization. Every time I think I have escaped the city I spot the lights of yet another housing addition. Did this place have no end?

I need to escape. I need to let my animal instinct take over for a couple of hours, to let go of my human mind. Only the oblivion of thought, the pure drive of predator instinct could act as a balm for the heartache I am suffering. If I can release myself from all pretenses maybe I can find peace, if only for a brief time.

My throat burns with the flames of thirst as I run past an all night truck stop and a monstrously large outlet mall. I change direction and head eastward, hopefully away from the sprawling metropolis. Lights are no longer visible in any direction. The only sounds filling the night around me are wild. The hoot of an owl out hunting for its evening meal sounds from about a mile north of me. Small scraping sounds come from a few yards to the west. A coyote wails its mournful night song from a mesa miles away.

Knowing there are no humans anywhere near me, I allow myself to release the composed exterior that allows me to pretend to be mortal. I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with the scent of the desert and its inhabitants. A wild, deeply musky aroma calls for me, fanning the flames of my thirst, creating a raging fire burning throughout my entire being. The wind created by my speed whips around me as I sprint toward the source of the pungent perfume.

A small herd of seven extremely hairy wild pigs trample a large patch of prickly pear cactus, ripping the red ripened fruit off of the pale green pads. The reverberating beatings of their collective hearts sing for me, inviting me. I spring from my crouch behind a small mesquite tree, wrapping my arms around the necks of two of the beasts, snapping the thick spines as if they were small twigs. Sinking my teeth into the thick, dirt caked hide, I drink deeply of the acrid blood. Throwing the carcass aside, I move onto the next taking of my fill.

I sit quietly for a few moments, listening to the sounds of other nocturnal predators while the fresh blood of my kill charges through my stone veins, letting me feel alive for a few precious seconds. Laying back against the rough, rocky soil I stare up into the vast net of stars twinkling down upon me. They're like small holes in the floor of heaven taunting me with glimpses of a light my soul will never see.

Broodingly, I close my eyes, forcing myself to focus away from the unattainable and take inventory of all that I have. Never before have I struggled with what I am. I have never missed my humanity. The lack of human memories has never bothered me, but tonight the weight of my immortality suppresses me, submerging me in a pool of self pity.

I bring to mind Esme's sweet, maternal smile, my depression lifting minutely with the warm memories of her comforting embrace. The faces of each of my family flash before me, reminding me of all the good things I have, all those who love me no matter what I am. Memories of the first time I met Jasper dance through my mind.

His raging red eyes as he walked into the busy diner searching for shelter from stray sunbeams. The look of astonishment and hope he gave me when I explained my vision and the way of life I wanted us to embrace. The change that took place in him over that next decade as we learned how to control our thirsts together reminds me that I have made a difference in the lives of those I love.

I see again how the despair washed from his life leaving acceptance and even traces of joy in its wake.

The choice Bella and I have made is right. I could never hurt my family like that; I could never hurt Jazz.

A loud buzzing warns me of an approaching vision.

_The short doctor with thinning black hair and full beard stands at the foot of Bella's bed smiling at her happily. "Well young lady, your recovery is coming along swiftly."_

"_When do you think I can go home?" Bella asks hopefully._

"_Well as long as you have people willing to help you with the tasks you cannot do for yourself, I don't see any reason to keep you here any longer. You will need to take things very easy for a while yet. I want you to stay in the wheelchair for at least another week to give your ribs more time to heal. Other than that I believe you are good to go," the doctor answers._

_Bella looks around the room smiling at me and Edward. I squeeze Jasper's hand excitedly as Carlisle answers the doctor. "We will all be more than willing to help Bella in any way necessary, and I will make sure she continues to heal well."_

"_Well then, it looks like you are ready to go home. I'll send the discharge nurse in with the paperwork. It's been a pleasure meeting you, and make sure you take better care of yourself from now on," the doctor replies, smiling brightly at Bella._

_Bella's face burns with embarrassment, her eyes drifting to the sheet covering her, "Thank you," she whispers as the doctor leaves the room._

The vision fades, leaving me hopeful and very excited. Bella is ready to go home, and I will be the one to help her while she recovers. I need to get back to the hospital. I can't wait to leave this bare desert with its foul wildlife behind.

-----------------------------------

Carlisle waves from the sidewalk before turning to walk into the bustling airport. "You're sure you're up to being in the car with Bella for the next fifteen hours?" Edward asks Jasper for the tenth time.

A low growl emanates from Jasper as he turns to glare at Edward in the back seat. "I have been with her for the last week and a half, most of that time in the same room. May I add that also during that time she had blood caked in her hair?" He pauses for a moment, letting a wave of utter aggravation fill the car as he pierces Edward with an angry stare. "I think, no, I know I will be just fine during the drive home."

"Relax, Jasper. I'm just making sure," Edward replies, raising his hands in front of him in an almost aggressive manner.

"Edward, tell me, how would you help Bella if her pain becomes too much before she can have her next dose of meds?" Jasper asks coldly, squeezing my hand slightly as a smirk grows, making his eyes appear to simmer. "Carlisle thought it would be best for me to ride home with her in case she needs assistance."

Edward's eyes fall to the beautiful brunette lying sound asleep, her hair spreading over his legs. Bella's fingers curl gently around his left hand. He runs his fingers through her hair gently as he gazes down tenderly at her.

I turn my head away, gazing at my reflection in the darkly tinted window. Jealously courses through my veins, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I dance my fingers lightly across my thigh and imagine the luxuriously soft feel of Bella's hair under my fingers.

Breathing deeply, I inhale the scent of Bella's freshly washed hair, closing my eyes to focus on the memories of washing it just half an hour ago. Butterflies dance in my core at remembering how her eyes had burned as she looked up at me from her wheelchair a white cotton towel draped over her for modesty.

"Thank you, Alice. I don't know what I would do without you helping me," she whispered, bringing her hand to lay over mine. Electric currents lingered where her hand had lain.

I trace the spot she had touched lovingly when she thanked me, with the tip of one finger, relishing in the emotion that had overcome me with that simple caress.

"Alice?" Jasper asks from the driver's seat. I open my eyes and turn towards him. His face a mask of confusion, his eyebrow arches curiously. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answer distractedly, "I was just thinking of all the help Bella is going to need for the next month."

"I'll be there to help her, anything she needs," Edward answers from behind me, his voice low and remorseful.

"I hate to say this, Edward, but I don't think yours is the help she is going to need," I answer, turning in my seat to look upon Bella as she sleeps. "Are you going to bathe her? Or help her in the little girl's room at school?"

If Edward had any blood left flowing through his veins he would have been blushing crimson. "Oh," he answers, staring out at the distant horizon.

"Don't worry; I'll be there to help her. I love her too, Edward, we all do. We will all do anything we can to help her heal quickly. You don't have to do this alone," I assure him, glad that he is only able to read thoughts and not emotions.

Jasper, however, looks over at me with a look of confused concern. I turn to look out the window at the California countryside flying past. I try to reign in my errant emotions, turning my thoughts to anything less emotionally driven.

The miles fly past as the sun sets over the ocean, sending rays of fractured light to reflect off of the windshield, turning the escaping light to reds and purples. Edward and I focus out our windows, lost in private thoughts as Jasper races down the highway toward home.

"Alice, Alice!" Bella screams, still sleeping against Edward's thigh. He immediately resumes stroking her hair, whispering words of comfort while giving me a strange questioning look.

Excitement fills me at hearing Bella call my name in her sleep. "It's okay, Bella. It's okay, we're right here."

"I'm scared," Bella whispers as tears stream down her cheeks, running into her hair and pooling on Edward's jeans.

"Wake her up, Edward." Jasper groans beside me. "Wake her up now," he commands when Edward refuses to listen.

I lean over the back of my seat and place my hand on Bella's forehead, lightly brushing her hair back out of her face. "Bella, wake up, your having a nightmare," I whisper while wiping the tears from her face. Edward sits, anger written in his scowl as I continue to caress Bella's face, encouraging her to wake up.

"Alice?" Bella asks, groggy with sleep and in a medicated haze.

"I'm right here, Bella, it was just a dream," I answer.

Bella looks around the car stopping, her search when she sees Edward above her. "There you are. I thought you were gone," she tells him, looking up at him as if she had not seen him in months.

"I'm right here, love," he answers.

"Don't leave me," she begs, a look of worry darkening her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," he answers as her eyes close. "As long as you need me, as long as it's good for you," he finishes too quietly for her to hear.

"That's not what she was asking of you, Edward," I whisper, not wanting Bella to overhear.

"She doesn't know what's best for her."

"Neither do you."

Another vision of Edward leaving Bella behind as our family turns their collective back on her fills my mind. I open my thoughts fully to Edward, letting him see how completely our leaving would destroy Bella.

"That would never happen, she's human. She'll move on, she'll forget," he answers.

"So, you are going to do it then?" I ask, defeated.

"No," he answers, hanging his head. "I'm too selfish, I need her too much."

His assertion does not change the vision. I sigh, looking once again out the darkened window. I know I will have to make a choice. I look to Jasper, drinking in his features and burning them to memory as I contemplate whom I could or could not live without.

The rest of the long drive home is completed in silence. Jasper pulls to a stop beside Charlie's cruiser.

"Alice, will you stay with her tonight? I need to hunt" Edward asks, his voice distant and flat.

"Sure." I answer, happy to be staying by her side, knowing I will be holding her in my arms tonight.

I turn to ask if Edward will be over in the morning to pick us up from school, but he is already gone. "Jazz would you carry Bella into the house?"

Jasper nods silently and moves to the rear door to lift Bella out smoothly. She does not awaken at his cool touch, sleeping soundly through Charlie letting us in.

"Thank you for bringing her home," Charlie whispers, a single tear sliding down his face.

I wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I'm going to stay here, Charlie. She's going to need a girl's help for a while still."

"Thank you, Alice."

Jasper carries Bella upstairs to her room. I release Charlie and follow them, turning to stop at the top of the stairs. "She's going to be okay, Charlie." Charlie nods before whispering under his breath and returning to the living room.

I frown as his whispered words ring in my memory. "No thanks to your brother. At least one of the Cullen kids is good for her."

**AN: Okay so if you can't imagine prickly pear cactus, mesquite trees, or javalinas do a google on them, I don't links for pictures. Oh but javalina's are the nastiest creatures; they are as bad as skunks. I know I feel evil for making Alice eat one, but they are the only biggish game around Phoenix.**

**Pumpkin pasties for everyone who reviews! And no I didn't bake them so they should edible. **


	5. Longing x alice x

**AN: I have been advised by my amazing Beta Jocelyn Torrent that I should probably post a warning that the temperature rises a little in this chapter.  
**

**Disclaimer: No I am not Stephenie Meyer so sadly Alice doesn't belong to me. None of them do. **

**Longing** (Alice)

Bella's peaceful sleeping visage is illuminated by the faint light radiating in through her bedroom window from the nearest streetlamp, casting her in a strange orange hue. Her eyes flutter beneath her eyelids. I hold her securely against me, her body molding to fit mine. Pressing my face into her hair, I inhale deeply, letting myself be comforted by her intoxicating perfume.

I press my face deeper into her hair wishing I could hold her like this forever. I run my fingers through the brown silk of her hair as I count each beat of her heart, memorizing its pattern. Bella's heart hitches, speeding its pace a little as her breathing becomes shallower. I run my fingers down her arm lightly, barely touching her soft, warm skin. I dance my fingers back up her arm pausing at the bend of her elbow, tracing the creases created by the slight angle.

Goosebumps raise on her arm in response to my touch as Bella releases a quiet sound of pleasure. "How long have I been asleep?" she asks, her eyes still closed.

"The doctor's gave you extra medication so you could sleep the entire way home. Of course they thought it might get you half way." I laugh, knowing Bella would not have liked to see the speedometer while Jasper was driving. "You've been asleep for a little over sixteen hours."

"But it's a twenty five hour drive…" she mentions tiredly, rolling over to face me. "Ouch," She whispers, cringing.

"Here let me help you." I pull the sheets that are tucked tightly under her body away from her. Reaching down, I gently lift her casted leg, resettling it in a more comfortable position before placing my hands on her hips to help angle her body better.

Her heart rate accelerates greatly at my touch, her temperature increasing. I force my hands away from her, chastising myself for my careless actions. The urge to hold her tightly to me, to caress her, to erase her discomfort burns inside me. I walk over to the window, taking a deep breath of the fresh air blowing in her room. Trying to settle my mind and take back control from my body's longings.

"Where's Edward?" Bella questions, her voice shaky.

Shattering the last remaining vestiges of longing with those two simple words, I feel my heart sink. The room loses a little of its brightness as I walk back toward the bed and sit gingerly on the edge a safe distance away from Bella.

"He had to hunt," I answer, feeling an emotional void that was clearly audible in my voice.

"Good," she whispers, reaching out toward me. "Alice, please don't pull away from me."

"But, Edward and Jasper they, we, I can't do this Bella. Not right now," I reply. "What if I let something slip, what if I think something wrong while Edward is near? Bella, it would tear them apart. We can't risk it."

Her beautiful, pale heart shaped face clouds briefly, tears welling in her eyes before she turns away. She buries her face in the pale yellow cotton pillow, hiding herself from my view.

The brine of her tears lures me forward to comfort her. Reaching out, I grasp her shaking shoulders and turn her toward me. Her tear-streaked face is red and blotched from holding in her sobs. Bella's eyes hold a forlorn longing, a forbidden desire. My heart nearly beats with the love I wish I could express to her.

Bella's thin, weak arms wrap around my neck, pulling me in to be nearer to her. With all the inhuman strength I have I could not have made myself pull out of her meager grasp. Willingly, I lay myself down beside her, entwining her waist loosely in my arms, stroking her back with feathery caresses.

"Why did you stay? If what we feel is so wrong, why are you even near me?" She whispers, running her fingers through my hair as she guides my face toward her chest, cradling the side of my head against her breast.

Bella's heart beats solid, sounding through my body, easing my concerns. The worries of hurting my family, my apprehension over what Edward's choices may do to those I love weaken against the soothing rhythm of her heart. A feeling of isolation surrounds us; as if together we are separate from everything encompassing us. The greater worries of life cannot touch us as long as we hold on to each other. And for these precious minutes just before dawn I let myself believe that it could be true.

A short beeping rings through the wall across from the bed and I hear Charlie rolling over, groaning as he turns off his alarm clock. "Ugh, blasted morning, always comes too early," he grumbles as he climbs out of bed and clunks around his room, noisily preparing for his day.

"Charlie's awake," I whisper, pulling my head back and meeting Bella's dreamy gaze. Her eyes burn into my own, speaking much more clearly than words could ever express what she is feeling. Her joy and love radiating over me like a summer's sun. "He's going to check on us in about two minutes."

A small pout forms on Bella's face as she looks up at me. "What if I don't want to move right now?" She teases as she grabs hold of the hair at the nape of my neck playfully.

"Unless you want both Edward and me to be unwelcome in this house I'd suggest you roll over." I quip, having seen Charlie's not so pleasant reaction to our current position as soon as Bella decided she did not want to let me go.

Bella groans painfully as she tries to roll over. Quickly I lift her in my arms, pulling her close for the briefest of seconds, feeling her breast brushing against my own through our thin cotton tank tops. Bella's back quivers at the contact, her breath forcefully leaving her lungs as her eyes fly to my own. Passion burns in her gaze.

I smile wickedly, enjoying her response as much as my own. Pulling the sheet back with one hand I place her on one side of the bed and quickly climb in behind her covering us both with the thin floral sheet. Snaking one arm beneath her body I place my hand just below her ribs. The beat of her racing heart filling me with excitement.

"Remember, Bella, we're supposed to be sleeping," I joke as I close my eyes in a false slumber, listening to Bella attempt to quiet her erratic breathing.

The door to Bella's room creaks open as Charlie sticks his head through the crack. A wide smile lights his expression and erases the deep scowl lines from his brow. A warm chuckle floats through the room as he shakes his head. "Sound asleep," he mutters as he closes the door behind him.

Bella's eyes open, shining with mirth as she covers her mouth with one hand stifling a giggle. I hold up one finger, motioning her to remain quiet as Charlie clumsily descends the stairs. He trips on the bottom step and grabs onto the rail to keep from falling. It's obvious where Bella got her grace from. I giggle knowing below us Charlie wears exactly the same embarrassed expression his daughter adorns whenever she has a 'Bella moment'.

The sound of my laughter releases Bella's pent up giggles. I wrap my arms tightly around her, pulling her back into me, feeling complete and happy as we laugh lightly for several minutes.

"We need to get ready for school," I declare suddenly, remembering the time. Bella moans, rolling onto her back to look up at me pleadingly.

"Do we have to?" She begs. "I really don't want to go; everyone is going to be staring at me in that stupid wheelchair," She groans, giving me the most adorable puppy eyes I have ever seen.

"Yes, we do," I answer lightly, leaning in and kissing her on the tip of her nose before taking off down the hallway toward the bathroom.

Bella's absence for the last week and a half is highly visible in the clutter of the small bathroom. Charlie's shaving implements lie scattered across the small faux marble counter. Remnants of his beard and dried toothpaste spit crusts the sink bowl. The toilet seat has been left up and obviously has not been cleaned since Bella's departure. An oddly disgusting aroma permeates the room.

No way can I allow Bella to bathe in this filth. Grabbing rubber gloves from under the sink and an arsenal of chemicals, assured to be the death of any potentially threatening bacteria growing in this offensive little room, I begin cleaning as quickly as I can. The human male is a disturbing, slovenly creature.

Convinced that I have annihilated the army of flesh eating bacteria that had been pullulating in the bathtub I run Bella what I hope is a warm, soothing bath. Leaving the water running to finish filling the tub, I return to Bella's room.

"I got your bath ready for you," I announce, walking in the door just in time to catch Bella trying to stand on her casted leg.

A jagged scream explodes into the silent room as Bella places weight on her injured limb. She throws her body violently to the left in an effort to remove the weight from her foot. Her arms fly in front of her as if to stop her fall. Sheer panic consumes her eyes as the floor rushes up to meet her. Out of pure reflex I gently cradle her falling body, lifting her easily to me.

Bella's eyes wrinkle at the corners from being held tightly shut, as if not watching the progress of her body's fall can will it to end well. "You can open eyes now," I tease, letting my breath tickle against her exposed neck.

"Alice," she sighs keeping her eyes shut for a moment longer and snuggling her face into the crook of my neck, 'thanks."

"You didn't really think I would let you fall did you?"

Bella scrunches up her nose, her eyes twinkling with embarrassment. "Well, you were in the other room and well, yeah?" she whispers apologetically.

"Silly Bella," I sigh dramatically, turning and carrying her out of the room.

Steam billows out the bathroom door as I open it and carry Bella inside, shutting it behind us with my foot. "Um, Alice, how are we going to do this?" Bella asks, her voice shaking as she looks around the crowded little bathroom.

"Hmm," I reply puckering my lips as I glance around the room having not thought about the logistics of the task at hand. "Well, seeing as you can't put any weight on your leg at all yet, I guess I am just going to have to undress you and carry you over to the tub," I answer, trying to hide the burst of longing raging through me.

Bella's nervous giggle echoes in the warm moist air. "Set me down. I think I can undress myself."

Lowering Bella carefully onto the now sterilized commode, I turn my back to give her privacy while she removes her pajamas. The whisper of cotton brushing against bare skin fills my mind with images best left undiscovered.

Bella's soft, warm hand caresses my lower back, sending flames racing along my spine. "I'm ready." I draw a deep unnecessary breath before turning toward Bella slowly with my eyes shut, telling myself I am only doing this because she needs my help. I mentally scream at myself that there is nothing sexual about this. "You can open your eyes, Alice, it's okay." Bella's voice is barely more than the whisper of a breeze through a meadow's grass.

I open my eyes slowly, willing myself to only focus on Bella's face. Her rich chestnut hair frames her heart shaped face. A knowing smile curves her full light rose colored lips. Her cheeks are alight with a bright crimson blush. My eyes meet with hers and I feel myself being drawn in by the deep, rich, liquid, brown eyes burning with unspoken emotion.

Without breaking the tense eye contact I share with Bella I reach out, wrapping my arms around Bella's waist. The heat of her bare flesh against my icy skin warms me in the most exquisite way. Lifting her gently I pull her toward my chest, relishing in the delightful heat radiating from her body. Bella's body presses against mine creating a sensation I did not know could exist until this moment. As if the warmth of her body were thawing my frozen form, melting the century of ice crystallizing my heart, and turning my hardened granite skin into soft flesh once more.

Bella's hands trace the sides of my torso, brushing lightly against the sides of my breasts, thrilling me with lightning that dances from her fingers. Her hands slide up under the hem of my blouse running along my tight stomach. A long forgotten feeling of butterflies fills me under her touch.

"What are you doing, Bella?" I ask, barely able to force voice to the words.

"Your shirt is going to get all wet. I wouldn't want it to be ruined," she whispers in my ear as she hooks her thumbs over the thin material while her hands continue to slide up my body, taking the shirt with it. I grip her waist more firmly, supporting all her slight weight with one arm as I slide the other out of my shirt before alternating and letting her remove my shirt completely.

Her soft full breast press against mine, molding themselves around me. A low purr vibrates from my chest. "Oh God, Bella, you have no idea what you are doing to me."

"I think I do," she whispers, lust burning brightly in her eyes.

Suddenly I realize we have crossed a line we both agreed could not be crossed. Pulling Bella away from me, I reach down to sweep up her legs in one arm. Without looking away from her eyes I carefully lay her in the tub, propping her casted leg up on the side and wrapping it tightly in a large towel to protect it from any splashing water.

I shut my eyes and slide down the bathroom wall, pulling my knees to my bare chest and wrapping my arms around them tightly, trying to stop the spastic shaking that is taking me over. "Bella," my voice shakes as I stare at the floor, unable to meet her gaze, "if Edward sees that..."

Bella's laugh fills the room. "If Edward sees that he is looking where he shouldn't be looking!" She answers lightly. "You were simply helping me into the tub." Her voice sounds triumphant at her declaration.

"I think I'm going to have to request that Edward not read your thoughts for a while," Bella says mischievously, "It would be terribly embarrassing if he were to see me at a vulnerable time."

I smile as the shaking of my limbs eases, knowing that Bella's plan will work perfectly. With the simple mention of Bella's discomfort and fear of him seeing her in a state of undress Edward will block all of my thoughts for the next two weeks.

"Alice, can you wash my back for me please?" Bella asks, her voice still ringing with mischief.

I sit on the ledge of the tub and pour body wash into the palm of my hand. "What happened to my loofa?" Bella asks, looking around the edge of the tub.

"I threw it away. Do you know how many germs live in those things? They're really disgusting," I answer as I begin massaging Bella's shoulders creating a plethora of aromatic bubbles from the friction between her skin and mine.

"Hmmm," Bella moans softly, leaning her head forward as I continue to wash her back. "I'm so glad you did."

So am I.

** Review, Pretty Please with a kiss from Alice on top?**


	6. Rejection x bella x

**AN: My apologies for any typos, or bad grammar you find below. This chapter has not been under the careful corrective gaze of my wonderful beta. Feel free to point out any mistakes you find, I will be more than happy to come back and fix them. Thanks. Now, I'm off to watch the movie! SQUEE! **

**Rejection** (Bella)

Alice's icy hands caress my back rubbing away all the tension from my muscles. The pleasant pain causing me to release throaty moans. My mind wanders to how Alice's dancing fingers would feel when caressing me in more sensual ways. Alice's touch stops immediately as heat rushes to the most intimate parts of my body, creating such a burning in me as I have never felt before. I reach back to place my hand on hers begging her not to pull away from me, but she is standing on the other side of the bathroom. Her pink laced tank top hiding her previously bared torso. I sigh, knowing I've pushed too far.

"Bella," Alice sighs deeply looking in the clouded mirror, diligently averting her eyes from me. "I can't do this." She finishes in a broken whisper, her shoulders heaving with silent, tearless sobs.

"No one will find out Alice, I promise." I beg feeling part of my heart being ripped away with each of her mournful sobs. I wish I could go to her and hold her in my arms. I wish I could comfort her, somehow erase the grief I have so stupidly caused her. How could I have pushed myself at her like that, not thinking even for a moment how tormented she would be by our situation.

"It's not just that Bella." She pauses as if trying to figure out exactly what she should say. "Edward won't be reading my thoughts, at least not for a while, but Bella, it's not about being caught. I agreed with you in Phoenix; and I still stand by that. I love them both too much to do this to them. I love you to much to do this. I won't treat you like some cheap whore that I'm too ashamed to let anyone know about."

Her reflection in the mirror is twisted with a mixture of rage, love, disgust, and sorrow. "I won't be treated that way either Bella; I deserve more than that." She growls hanging her head before turning her back to me.

"Alice!" I force through my clenched throat my voice choked by flowing tears and gasping breath.

"I'm going to get your clothes ready, call me when you are done washing." She informs me, her voice devoid of any emotion, cold, dead. With her eyes on the floor, refusing to even glance at me, she exits the small room in a blur.

She leaves me behind in a cooling tub, staring after the best friend I have ever had, the one person who I know I love more than any other, the one who I have hurt more than I ever thought was possible. Sometimes I really do hate myself.

I sit in the bubbly water staring at the closed door. All thought, all intention lost as I am overcome with pure shame. The words Alice has spoken cut me to the core for the most painful of reasons. They are true. I have treated her exactly as one would treat a low class mistress. I was prepared to sneak her in on the side while I could still run to the safety and comfort of Edward's arms and pretend to be normal.

By my actions I had told her what I felt for her was nothing more than a passing lust. I know in my heart of hearts that is not true, but what can I do to make her believe that again. Only days ago we had sworn ourselves to each other for eternity, even if only in friendship. Now I have obliterated the most vital rule of friendship; I have placed my desires before her. I have used her. Will she ever forgive me?

The last air filled pocket of soap bursts as it brushes against my unshaven leg. I watch as the round casement puckers up separating at the top in increments till the thin membrane can no longer hold itself together. Rays of water and soap shoot up about an inch higher than the bubble had been tall. Seven individual spikes shooting out on their own no longer a part of the whole. On their own they are short lived quickly falling back into the now cold water.

Could our friendship really be that flimsy, that passing, as weak as the now non existent pearlescent bubble. Pretty to look at briefly but not solid enough to last? No, the answer has to be no. I don't know yet what I can do to make this better. I don't know what I need to do to earn Alice's forgiveness, but I will do anything to repair the damage I have done.

"Alice?" I speak quietly knowing she will hear me perfectly. I could not manage a louder voice had I needed to. My throat is raw and scratchy from holding in my own sobs; too ashamed to let my pitiful sobs of guilt be heard when Alice is hurting because of me. Why should I be given the release tears bring when the one I love, the one I harmed, can find no such release?

Alice sweeps in the room a small yet still sad smile gracing her beautiful pouty lips. Lips that if need be will never brush against mine again. I love Alice too much to push her away by demanding her to be more than she can offer me.

She stands before me with an extra large towel outstretched in her arms her eyes firmly shut. "Push your weight up with your arms on the side of the tub so I can wrap my arm under you and lift you out." She orders, sounding remarkably like one of the nurses back at the hospital. I grind my teeth struggling to do as she says, but refusing to argue.

With lightning quick speed, so fast that I doubt a single droplet of water could even hit the floor she carries me out of the bathroom and sets me on my bed beside a neatly folded stack of clothing. "I'll wait outside the door, call me if you need any help." She instructs, "Oh and Edward will be here to pick you up in a few minutes."

I search through the pile to see what she has selected, deciding I can, no I will, do this on my own. I will not make Alice uncomfortable again, even if I fall and break my other leg in the process. I will manage this task independently. Five minutes later, after contorting myself painfully on several different occasions to squeeze myself into the form fitting slip over shirt and rather tight skirt Alice had chosen for me, I was successfully dressed.

"You can come back in now." I whisper hoping that she has not left.

The door opens a crack as I hear Alice's chiming laughter fill the hallway. Is Edward here already? Suddenly moving so quickly all I feel is a weak breeze Alice stands before me holding my hands in hers. A lighthearted smile lighting her face, still leaving her eyes a tortured shade of dark molasses, but its a start. I squeeze her hands tightly and smile up at her, wishing once again I could undo the wrong I have committed.

"Edward is going to LOVE that outfit." She exclaims in a mischievous voice before moving behind me and quickly styling my damp hair into a seriously messy up-do.

I puff my cheeks out with a deeply inhaled breath, crossing my eyes at a strand of run away bang that has decided to rest directly between my eyes, blowing as hard as I can I try to displace the errant tresses. The stubbornly uncooperative brown locks fall right back where they had laid. That is going to be bugging me all day, but I refuse to say anything.

Tilting my head back to see Alice better I ask beseechingly, "Friends?"

Alice's exuberance over her vision of Edward has faded drastically, her face darkened by thought, and possibly regret. "Yah Bella, friends." She states in morose compliance.

Spinning around my desk chair she stares deeply into my eyes for a full minute as if searching for some answer, or memorizing them for later remembrance. She leans in and lightly kisses my forehead lingering for only seconds before straightening and walking briskly to the door.

"Edward's here." She states her voice still laden with an undecipherable coolness. "I'll see you later at school."

"Aren't you riding with us?" I ask suddenly alarmed by her distance.

"No. I... I have to go now Bella. I'll see you later." The front door slamming behind her is the only sound to remind me of her presence.

"Bella?" Edward's voice rings out from downstairs.

"Up here." I call back weakly, fighting back the nearly overwhelming urge to throw something or fall into my pillow screaming and crying.

Edward peaks his head around the doorsill smiling brightly as his eyes meet mine. "Did you have a good hunt last night?" I ask trying to sound bright and cheerful.

A flash of confusion so quick I barely register it crosses his face before morphing into a proud grin. "Yes, I did." His face shining with emotion that does not carry to his voice. "Ready to go?" He asks.

"Um sure, can we grab a granola bar on the way through the kitchen though. I don't think I've eaten since I left the hospital." A loud churning from my stomach declares the truth of my statement.

Edward grabs me up to his chest one arm wrapped firmly behind my back, the other supporting the weight of my lower body easily and gently under my knees. My side presses against his firm, cool, very masculine torso. An unintended sigh escapes my lips as I close my eyes and briefly remember the delicate embrace of another as she carried me exactly like this just hours before.

Edward smiles down at me as I open my eyes forcing myself to look up into his tawny ones. My brows pull down in thought trying to remember any other time that his eyes have been this dull in color after hunting. No, never, after hunting they have always burned a liquid, almost molten gold.

"I missed you too." He answers obviously mistaking my curious gaze as a question as to why he was looking at me.

Edward pauses at the kitchen cupboards looking completely clueless. I laugh lightly turning his head with both hands toward the pantry. He smiles thankfully walking with me toward the pantry. I open the narrow door and grab one each of my favorite granola bars, s'mores and reeses, before shutting the door.

"I thought you said you wanted breakfast." Edward asks in mock outrage. Crinkling his nose at the brightly colored foil packages gripped tightly in my hand.

"Mmhm." I answer with an exaggerated nod of my head and a childish grin as I take a bite of delicious chocolate and marshmallow mixed with heavily sweetened oats.

"Since when is candy a breakfast food?"

I swallow politely before responding in a deliberately childlike voice. "Since the quaker oats man said so. It's gotta be true."

The look he gives me almost makes me spit my half chewed bite of sugary goodness all over his starched white button up shirt. I swallow back my laughter with my food. "I think I need to have Carlisle check your head again, you didn't fall last night did you?" He teases moving the arm supporting my back so that he can massage my skull with his long pianist fingers.

"Take me to school." I pout at him, causing him to laugh harder at my petulant expression and crossed arms.

"As you wish." he replies shutting the front door behind him and slowly walking toward his car, as if waiting for someone to see him doing this small chivalrous act. He opens my door so swiftly I never feel his arm letting go of my legs to work the handle. I settle into the comfortable leather seat while he fastens the seatbelt across my chest, pulling on the top belt to make sure it is secure just like my mom used to do when I was in kindergarten. I bite back a sarcastic comment wanting to come out under my breath, stupid vampire hearing.

Edward puts in a cd I have never heard before. An enchanting female vocalist echos through the car, the instruments filling the void behind her voice are captivating. I feel myself floating with the song, lost in a world of thought as the song's lyrics seemingly giving words to my emotions.

"What cd is this?" I ask.

"It's one of Alice's favorites." he answers simply, giving no information about the artist or song, "I thought it would be appropriate for this morning."

"Speaking of you and thinking." I begin in a high pitch, taking a moment to breathe deeply till I know my voice will no longer betray my nerves. "Can you please not read Alice's mind while she is helping me. I just... well..." Blush burns my cheeks as I stumble to find the words I need.

Edward wears an expression of shock and embarrassment as well. "Oh, I never thought about that. Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have thought about that sooner; you should never have had to worry about it. Of course I will block her till you are back on your feet."

"You, you didn't hear her thoughts this morning did you?" I ask turning a bright crimson while my heart races within my chest, both out of fear and mortification.

"Oh, no love, she was gone when I arrived." he reassures me as we pull into the school parking lot.

Edward leaves me sitting in the car with the radio playing while he slowly pulls my wheel chair out of the trunk clicking the wheels into place before setting it in the upright position. Several students walk by covering their mouths and leaning into each other obviously passing comments on the situation.

Finishing his show of making the wheelchair seem impossible to put together Edward wheels it even with my door. Opening the door he reaches past me to turn off the engine and remove his keys, pocketing them before gracing me with a small smile.

"Well, time to face the mortals." He smirks.

"Ooh goodie, for me." I groan as he lifts me setting me lightly in my chair before pushing me toward my first hour class.

"Carlisle has spoken to the principal and had Alice's schedule rearranged to match yours in case you need any help with, you know, feminine things." I laugh seeing his discomfiture even saying the words. Well except of course biology since I will be there already, but if you need her I can always go get her for you."

"That was thoughtful of him." I answer quietly sure my voice is lost in the bustling noises of the crowded hallway.

"Actually, it was Alice's idea. She suggested it before we left Phoenix."

Guilt floods me leaving my lungs tight and my throat too swollen to swallow. I remain silent as Edward pushes me toward a low, table set up to the perfect height for my chair. An empty plastic chair sits beside me sharing the table in the back corner of the room.

I turn to thank Edward for escorting me to class, almost dreading the chaste kiss I know awaits me. I can't do this much longer. I need to decide who I love more; I need to make my decision and stand by it whatever the result may be. I can not drag both Edward and Alice along, my selfish actions are hurting them both.

A second of confusion settles on me before relief pushes it away, seeing that Edward is no longer there. He has left without a word.

My sense of relief, however is short lived. The cold blue plastic chair beside me remains empty as the final bell rings. I reluctantly pull my spiral notebook and a black ink pen out of my backpack draped over the small handlebars of my chair and turn to the front of the class ready to take notes.

**AN: Review please?!? So what did you think of the movie? **


	7. Solitude x alice x

**AN: Yeah I am back from the computer-less abyss! Thank you all for being patient with me and not sending me nasty "where's the update" messages! I will update again by Tuesday.**

**Disclaimer: UH duh, goes without saying, I own nothing but copies of the fabulous books by Stephenie Meyer that I have so happily twisted to fit my purposes.**

I ran.

What else can I do? It feels as if my world is caving in on me, crushing me under the weight of my own guilt and stupidity. How could I have fallen in love with my brother's mate? With all my near omnipotence, how could I have not avoided this?

Yes Bella loves me, but does she have the strength to turn away from the solidity Edward embodies to reach for the fragile love I have to offer? For that matter, do I have the courage, the fortitude to release Jasper from this one sided relationship?

The change in scenery alerts me to the fact that I have run further than I intended to. No longer am I surrounded by coniferous woods spotted with weathered and moss covered boulders. I stand amongst a grove of younger trees. Birch, Elm, and Walnut trees less than a century old surround me. The ground beneath my feet is no longer pliant from incessant rainfall, but shifting, composed primarily of sand with sparse, feathery ferns dotting the forest floor.

I breathe deeply, trying to discern more information of my whereabouts. The briny scent of the nearby ocean fills me, confirming that I have run parallel to the coast. From the warm weather fauna growing in the near vicinity I assume I am somewhere near the northern border of California.

Pressing my back against a slender white tree with peeling, flaky bark, I slide to the sandy soil. Wrapping my arms tightly around my legs, I lay my head in the crevice of my knees and search for an answer.

Visions of mundane daily activities flow into each other as I open my mind, further sifting through possibilities for any clues. A rustle of leaves and the quiet snapping of a twig alert me to another's presence. I spring from my semi-concealed seat at the base of the young tree, landing crouched in a fighting stance. Breathing deeply I taste the air in an attempt to identify who or what is approaching.

A deep calm settles over me as a familiar figure approaches slowly through the distant brambles. "Alice," His voice rings out sounding relieved.

"Jasper," I answer, letting my body relax and assume a more natural stance. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to see you at Bella's house this morning. I wanted to ask if you needed to hunt before school today," he answers as he continues to approach me slowly, as if I might run from him at any second. "You were gone when I got there. I followed your scent for a while. About ten minutes after I started tracking you I came close enough to feel you."

Jasper's strong, comforting arms enfold me. His sweet familiar breath dances along the skin of my neck as he holds me tightly against his chest. "Please, Alice, tell me what's wrong ? What happened that has made you so unsure and hurt you so deeply?"

"I can't, Jasper. I just can't," I sob turning in his arms burying my face in his chest. Waves of peacefulness and security overwhelm me, drowning my anxiety. I inhale Jasper's spicy, comforting scent, letting him hold me closely.

"You can tell me anything. Nothing you could tell me would make me love you any less," Jasper whispers while lowering us to the ground. He cradles me in his lap and rocks slowly back and forth, running his fingers soothingly through my hair. I lean into his muscular chest, trying to force the feelings of excitement and completeness our closeness used to bring me. I still love Jasper, without question, but there is no flame, no electricity when we touch. Being held in his arms is peaceful, safe, and comfortable. It feels like the embrace of a brother or even a father, but not a lover.

I need to tell him the truth. Even if Bella chooses to stay with Edward; I cannot continue to live a lie. I must let Jasper go; he deserves to find someone who can give him their whole heart.

"I'm sorry, Jasper." I whisper so quietly, were he not so completely focused on me, he never would have heard it.

"I know you are, Alice." He replies, cupping his hands around my lowered face, lifting my guilty gaze to his. "You need to say it, Alice."

I remain silent, trying to lower my face again, refusing to stare into his loving caramel eyes. "I love her, Jazz." I mumble almost incoherently.

"Who, Alice? Who do you love?" Jasper demands quietly, his voice full of sympathy and remorseful acceptance. "Say her name, Alice. Say it."

"Bella." I whimper, trying to pull away from Jasper's strong grasp. I do not deserve to be encased in the comfort of his arms while I rip his heart to shreds. Destroying nearly a century of shared dreams, desires, love and fidelity with one word. Eviscerating our past for an unsure future with the one I love more than existence itself.

Jasper's arms tighten around my waist as they pull me closer to his chest. He leans down, resting his forehead against my own. A mixture of pain, sorrow, relief, and acceptance radiate from him, leaving me paralyzed by the strength of his emotions. "I know, Alice. It's okay, I've known for a while. Thank you for being honest."

His words leave me shocked. I pull back to look at him as his grasp lessens. "How did you know…how long?" I ask, unable to believe I had been careless enough for him to figure it out.

"I've always known I loved you differently than you loved me. I knew if you ever met the person you were really meant to be with you would leave me behind. I've always selfishly hoped that day would never come. I've treasured each day you were mine to hold knowing it may be the last." He answers, staring deeply into my eyes, his fingers lightly tracing the contours of my face.

"Oh God, Jasper, I'm so sorry. I never knew." I whisper, my voice choked with guilt. How could he have been living with this doubt for all this time?

"I know," he answers, his every caress easing my burdened heart. "The first day Edward brought Bella to our home I knew our time together was coming to an end. The moment you kissed her cheek it was as if a nuclear bomb had gone off. Bella confused it with shock, that you had come close enough to touch her. You, well I think you thought it was a combination of never having touched a human for any purpose other than feeding, and joy that Edward had finally found his mate."

Jasper pauses for a moment his eyes darkening slightly and taking on a glossy appearance. "I felt it, all of it. I could not lie to myself. I knew then that Edward had not found his mate; he had found yours."

Loud gasping sounds disrupt the momentary silence surrounding us sending peacefully resting birds flying from the safety of their nests high above us. My back heaves with each painful sob. Jasper's arms wrap around me protectively, as if I might physically fall apart if he let go. For a moment I was sure I would.

Jasper and I sit like that, not moving or speaking for another half hour. Holding on to each-other and our past for as long as we can, each knowing that when we let go life will never be the same again.

A vision of Bella trying unsuccessfully to manipulate the crowded school hallway in her bulky wheelchair breaks the peaceful moment.

"I need to go," I state sadly, quickly removing myself from Jasper's lap.

"Go to Bella; she needs you as much as you need her," he says giving me a melancholy smile. "Go, be happy, Alice."

"What are you going to do, Jazz?" I ask, worried about leaving him alone after what I have just done to him.

"I don't know yet," he answers honestly.

"I know," I reply. "I'm sorry, Jazz."

Jasper smiles brightly. "I love you, Alice. You have made me happy for over 80 years. It's your turn now." He leans in, kissing my forehead. "Go Alice, Bella is waiting for you." He laughs quietly. "She's probably convinced herself you hate her by now."

He's right. After our fall out this morning she's probably beating herself up over my disappearance. Silly, oversensitive human.

"Bye, Jasper," I whisper.

"I'll see you later," he responds.

The wind at my back pushes me forward urging me to run faster. The green leaves blur around me as I race back to Bella.

The cacophony of teenage voices reaches my sensitive hearing seconds before the parking lot of Forks High comes into view.

"Hey, Bella, let me help you with that!" Mike's overly excited voice rings from across the quad.

Bella groans quietly before answering, "Thanks, Mike. This stupid chair just doesn't like me."

The frustration evident in Bella's voice causes me to laugh. I quickly run my fingers through my short hair, fixing it and removing a few fallen leaves. I jog across the parking lot at a restrained pace to rescue Bella from the obnoxious, human, golden retriever.

"Hey, Mike. Thanks for helping Bella; I can take her from here," I inform him smiling just wide enough to hint at menace.

"Uh? Oh yeah, sure. See you later, Bella," Mike stutters, walking slowly away without turning his back to us.

"Hey, love, sorry I disappeared." I lean in and whisper in Bella's ear letting my lips close briefly over her earlobe.

Bella's heart rate soars, her breath stopping for a minute before her lungs force her to inhale deeply. "You sound happier," Bella states, almost making it a question.

"Yeah, I am," I answer, pushing her toward the cafeteria. "I just had to make some decisions."

"About us?" Bella asks, nervously biting her already gnawed fingernails.

"Yes," I answer.

"And?"

"And about Jasper," I reply teasingly avoiding answering the true meaning of her question.

"Alice," Bella moans as we push to the front of the food line.

I take one of the grey serving trays selecting enough disgusting food for both of us and paying for it. I hand the tray to Bella and head to the isolated table reserved for my family. No one else is there yet. I glance around the room making sure none of my siblings are close enough to overhear.

"And... I decided I love you, Bella. No matter whom you choose. I will love you, for better or worse; forever."

"But what about Jasper?" She questions, still looking worried and unsure.

"I told him, Bella." I answer staring into her wide, shocked, tearing brown eyes. "He already knew. He said he's known since he first met you."

"Edward." she sighs, a deep sadness permeating that one word.

"That's up to you, Bella," I answer, placing both hands lovingly on her shoulders. "But you can't have us both. I love you, Bella, but I need to know you love me too. I've made my choice. You need to make yours."

**AN: Reviews make me happy! You don't want to see me cry, right?**


	8. Time to Choose x bella x

**Once again thanks to my sehr schnell und sehr gut beta! (Yah, that's very quick and very good.) She's the best!**

**AN: The long awaited "How will Edward respond" chapter is coming up next. I will have it ready for beta-ing by Tuesday; just because most of you have been very patient and understanding during my absence. Thanks. **

**No I am not Stephenie Meyer, so no I have no rights to these characters.**

The bell dismissing first hour rings shrilly, echoing through the empty halls for a second before being drowned out by the shuffling of students. Everyone's happy for the seven minute reprieve between classes… everyone but me. Alice never showed up.

I wait for the other students to exit the room before attempting to maneuver my cumbersome wheelchair through the almost too narrow classroom door. I'm glad for the lack of an audience as I reverse, change my angle and try for the second time to squeeze through.

I scream briefly in shock and pain as my, still very tender, casted leg slams into the metal door frame. I jerk, unintentionally turning the chair sideways and effectively lodging it in the doorway. Covering my burning face with my hands, I fight back tears of embarrassment while I wait for someone to notice me and offer to help.

"You really are completely helpless, aren't you?" a familiar, musical voice sneers.

"Rose?" I ask before looking up.

"Who else would it be?" She smirks, placing her cold hands on my shoulders a little rougher than necessary.

"Where's Edward?" My voice shakes as I ask. Even though I am sure he thought Alice would be here to help me, I had expected him to walk me to class like normal.

"He's talking with Emmett; he asked me to help you get to class." Rosalie looks around the crowded hallway. "Well you've really messed up this time."

Oh God, Edward knows. How could he have found out? "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Oh can the dramatics and tears!" She scolds burning my psyche with the disgust in her glare. "Always one to create a scene, aren't you. All I have to do is wait till no one is watching for a second and I can get you out of this mess."

"Oh." I clamp my lips purposefully shut and wait patiently for Rosalie to free me from my predicament.

I watch as seemingly the entire student body floods through the hall, hanging out and gossiping with their friends. Suddenly and with an uncomfortable jerk my wheelchair is pulled free of the doorway and set back down harshly, nearly ejecting me from my seat.

"Nothing to it," Rosalie quips, giving me a look of utter superiority.

"Thanks, Rose," I mumble. My eyes are suddenly drawn to the amazingly intricate patterns left on the reflective white tile flooring by hundreds of muddy sneakers.

We move swiftly down the hall, deftly avoiding the plethora of students pressed together in a mass movement of limbs and backpacks. At the exterior door of building four Rose turns me around backward and roughly bumps my chair down the seven steps to the quad sending pain radiating up from my leg and shooting outward from my unwrapped broken ribs.

I bite in a moan of discomfort as she turns me quickly, once again almost dislodging me from my seat.

"Rose, can I ask you something?" I question hesitantly.

"I guess I can't stop you."

"Why do you hate me so much?" I ask, holding my breath in preparation for an answer that I know is going to hurt.

Rosalie remains silent as she pushes me toward an empty picnic table. I prepare myself for more pain as the bench rushes toward me. Seconds before my legs would have been impaled by the splintering bench, Rose appears before me sitting on the edge and stopping my chair with her hands on my knees. Her intense gaze sends chills down my spine.

"I don't... hate you," she answers, pausing as if to figure out exactly what her feelings are. "I don't like you," she states very assured. "You whine, you're constantly making trouble for my family, but what I dislike about you most is the fact that you are not good for my brother. He is too blinded by the scent of your blood to realize just how wrong for him you are."

I stare at the beautiful woman in front of me, incapacitated by the venom in her words.

Rosalie scowls at my dumbfounded expression before continuing. "Don't act dumb, Bella. My family may think I can't see past my own reflection, but I guarantee you no one who has lived as long as I have could possibly be that shallow. I am merely good at keeping my own council. I don't give my opinion unless it is asked for, and you asked."

Her voice is almost friendly as she continues castigating me. I simply sit, listening to the truth in her unkind yet non-offensive words. "You do not love Edward. You admire him, you may even lust after him, but you do not love him, Bella. Love is self-sacrificial, it never demands, it always gives. What have you given him? You've taken away his family time, demanding he be at your side every minute of the day. You've put our family's secret in danger not once but three times; who risks the ones they love like that? Worst of all, Bella, in Phoenix while we were risking exposure simply by being there, you ran from us forcing us to give chase."

Anger rises in my chest at her last statement. That is not fair. "I thought my mother was in danger!"

I nearly scream at her clenching my fists and pressing them into my thighs to keep from reaching out and smacking her.

"You love your mom," Rosalie says softly, the ferocity of her eyes softening a bit. "That's easy to see. You willingly tried to give your life for her. Would you do that for Edward?"

"That's different," I answer quietly, biting my bottom lip and furrowing my brow. "Edward is so strong, no one could hurt him; not with your family standing with him."

"No, Bella, he's not strong. He's a scared seventeen year old kid who has never had a relationship before, and the only girl he has ever cared about chose to die instead of staying with him." Rosalie replies, her voice barely above a whisper, her face softening in an almost maternal concern. "He's afraid, Bella. He's afraid that by staying with you he is putting your life in danger."

"Going to James was my choice. I knew I was going to die when I went to him. Your family had nothing to do with that choice. I had to go; I thought he had my mom. Why won't anyone understand that?!" I exhale heavily, following my retort and trying to reign my anger in again. If Rosalie can sit and speak to me reasonably I can do the same.

"You're right, it was your choice, and you did not choose Edward," Rosalie whispers, taking both of my hands in hers and staring directly into my eyes for a tense, silent minute. "You would make the same choice again, wouldn't you? If you are going to hurt him again, Bella, do it now. Don't wait till you are so imbedded into his life that it kills him to lose you."

"I never wanted to hurt him." The words escape my mouth as hopelessly as a petal falling from a wilted flower. "I don't want to hurt him."

"That is sweet, Bella, but it's a little too late." Rosalie replies, standing and quickly turning my chair in the opposite direction.

Students begin charging out of the entry doors, filling the quad with noisy chatter as the warning bell for third period begins. Being as focused on my discussion with Rosalie as I had been, I did not hear the final bell or the dismissal bell for second period. The office will surely be calling Charlie to report my missed class, but that is the least of my concerns. I can always tell him I wasn't feeling well and needed a break. He'll have no problem with my minor discrepancy. If only the wrong I have done against Edward was that easy to fix.

"Thanks for helping Bella get to class Rose," Edward calls out as he approaches us with a smiling Emmett at his side.

"Hey babe, walk with me to class." Emmett winks, taking Rose by the hand and dragging her away without looking back in our direction.

"Hi, love, sorry I missed escorting you to class; I had to talk to Emmett about our next hunting trip. I hope Rose didn't give you too hard of a time," Edward apologizes, kneeling before me and placing a sweet, short kiss on my forehead.

Even with his hands resting on my legs I feel a distance between us, one that has never been present before. Now that I am sure he does not know about my betrayal, I wonder what the cause of his recent emotional retreat is. Rosalie's final words echo through my mind, tormenting me with their every passing.

I've hurt him. The reason he has been so distant, the reason he has been avoiding me, staying away, is all because I chose to run from him. He's hurt because he wanted me to run to him… not away. If stepping on his pride cuts him this deeply how can I admit I have not only fallen in love with another, but that the one who I have given my entire being to, is his own sister?

"It's alright, Rose was fine. She helped me with a sticky situation," I reassure him, pulling my gaze away from his to intently study my finger running over the slick grey armrest of my seat.

Edward laughs a deep, booming, genuine laugh. "You mean the never to be forgotten, 'how to lodge yourself in the doorway' incident."

Heat surges through my face with remembered embarrassment. "You heard about that, huh?"

"Everyone has heard about it. There are several people with videos of the event on their cell phones who are just dying to get home and put it up on you-tube under wheelchair bloopers. I have to admit, it was pretty funny. Only you, my sweet Bella, could manage to do that." Edward replies as he moves behind me and begins escorting me to my next class.

Well, glad I could be a source of entertainment for everyone. I sit quietly the rest of the ride, a bitter resentment growing with the knowledge that he knew I was making a fool of myself and did not come to help.

Edward turns me backward, bumping me back up the steps into building four which I seemingly just left. He is careful to make the chair bounce as little as possible, nothing like the bone jarring ride I endured an hour ago. Edward pushes the chair through another narrow door with ease and puts the brakes on my chair after settling me into position behind another strategically placed lab table.

I reach back placing my hand over his cold one before he can take off unannounced again. "Edward," I ask, "can we go to the meadow after school today?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Bella," he answers, his brow creasing in some unreadable emotion, his eyes scrutinizing me as if trying to figure out the motive behind my request. "You're not exactly up for a hike right now," he finishes, looking toward the door as if longing for escape.

Does simply being in my presence disturb him that greatly? How could one little mistake have driven a wedge this big between us? Maybe Rose was right. Maybe what we share is not love, maybe it never was.

"I thought..." I speak quietly in a pleading voice, but as if to illustrate the growing chasm between us Edward turns toward the door and quickly walks away as the final bell rings.

Once again the seat next to me sits empty throughout the entire class. My mind drifts to the tense conversation between Alice and me this morning, her words playing repeatedly, the ominous meaning behind those words growing with each cycle of repetition.

The ringing bell awakens me from my morose day dream, in which I nearly convinced myself I have not only screwed up any chance of fixing my relationship with Edward, but I have also pushed Alice to the point of breaking the fragile bond we have created. Why must I screw up everything I touch? Rose was right, I'm not good for Edward; I'm not good for anyone.

I sit staring at the black table top in front of me, tracing and retracing the initials of some student who long ago walked out the door of this school never to look back. EBA, EBA, EBA. Edward. pause. Bella. pause. Alice. Even inanimate object choose to taunt me.

Sighing deeply, I let my head fall to the table. "Ugh," I exclaim pulling my head back up holding my forehead in my hand as my head throbs from the sudden impact. What am I going to do? No I know what I am going to do; the question should be, how am I going to do this?

Neither Edward nor Rosalie comes to help me to class. I resign myself to a repeat of my earlier disgrace and push myself toward the door. Fortunately a tall boy wearing a letterman's jacket covered with pins marking his athletic prowess sees me shortly after I successfully steer through the doorway and approach the front doors.

"Hey, you're Bella, right?" he asks as he strides confidently up to me. "Everyone's been sharing video of you after first hour. How bout I help you?"

"Thanks," I mumble. "They would really enjoy catching me fall down the stairs. I'd hate to ruin their fun."

He laughs heartily, his voice bouncing off the nearby lockers. "Ha, who says you don't have a sense of humor?! Nah, but really, their little minds can only take so much entertainment a day, or they may burst a blood vessel."

He clumsily helps me navigate the treacherous steps, stopping to wipe a small stream of sweat from his brow at the bottom. I guess it is harder than Rose and Edward have made it seem. "Well, um, thanks for the help, but I think I can get it from here."

"Yah, great," he replies before dashing off toward a crowd of guys pushing each other around, enjoying their break. Slowly I begin the agonizingly long trip across the quad. My ribs burning with the exertion within minutes of beginning and I'm not even half way to the main building yet.

"Hey, Bella, let me help you with that!" Mike's voice rings as he charges from the other side, running toward me like an over -joyous mutt.

I moan under my breath, wishing it were anyone besides him offering help, but I know I cannot make it on my own without suffering for it the rest of day. "Thanks, Mike, this stupid chair just doesn't like me."

Mike takes three steps when the most beautiful sound in the world interrupts his movement. Alice's chiming voice announces from just behind me. "Hey, Mike. Thanks for helping Bella; I can take her from here."

Reluctantly, Mike walks away slowly as if afraid of being attacked if he does not obey. My heart races as Alice leans in, whispering apologies for her disappearances. Her cold lips linger on my ear, sending electric currents through my body, banishing my unfounded fears from earlier today. I long to turn in my seat and seek out her perfect lips, cursing the presence of other people I force myself to sit facing forward as Alice's hands brush lightly across my shoulders and exposed collar bone before settling on the handles and pushing me along to the cafeteria.

My heart fills with peaceful reassurance that we will find a way to make our relationship work as Alice tells me of the loving response Jasper had when she told him of her love for me. The fact that he wished us well and sent her on her way back to me, to ease my worries is incredible. How can he bow so gracefully while the most wondrous creature walking this planet is bidding him farewell? It gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, Edward will respond in kind.

"Edward," I sigh, leaning my head back in silent prayer to whatever being may be listening and willing to grant my silent request for his understanding. I do not want to hurt him anymore.

"That's up to you, Bella," Alice answers, her voice airy and light but carrying undertones of sadness and uncertainty. Her hands lay upon my shoulders, massaging the stress in my tense neck gently. "But you can't have us both. I love you, Bella, but I need to know you love me too. I've made my choice. You need to make yours."

I lean my head into her touch, longing to be able to tell her how much I love her. I long to let her know I would do anything for her; I would give up my life for her without thought or regret. I know however I owe Edward more than that. I cannot give my heart away so utterly and completely while he still believes he holds it in his hand.

With my decision made I search around the lunch room for the bronze haired god that I though, not very long ago, held my world together simply by being. He is nowhere in sight. Exhaling deeply, I turn to face Alice. Her face is still lined with worry. I must get this taken care of today. The longer I wait the more I am hurting both of them, and I cannot stand to see either in pain.

Alice slides her chair closer to mine, blocking the view of our hands from everyone else in the cafeteria. I take advantage of this to lay my hand on her leg in silent reassurance and as a physical statement of my love for her and my choice. A brilliant smile lights her face as I lean toward her.

"I'm going to speak to Edward today," I whisper, letting my lips graze her cheek too lightly and too fast for other students to notice. Alice's hand moves to cover my own squeezing lightly as we stare at each other in silence for a moment.

"So, I saw an ad online about a new specialty boutique that is opening in Seattle. The clothes are so cute, I saw a few dresses that would look wonderful on you, and well, with your cast I'm sure you could use some more. I thought we could go today after school, but I guess it will just have to wait till tomorrow," she chimes on, telling me every detail of the dresses she wants to get for me.

I silently prepare myself for what is to come today. The minute hands on the clock against the far wall by the entry doors to the cafeteria tick by slowly. Minutes seem like hours as I prepare what I will say to Edward to convince him to take me to our meadow. It was there where he opened up to me, where we began this adventure, this relationship. It seems only fitting that it be there where we end it. That it be there, in the meadow, where I end my charade, confessing my truth, my infidelity to him.

Alice keeps giving me curious glances as she rambles on about the shopping trip she is planning for us; she can see I am distracted. It seems almost as if she is continuing her monologue in order to give me the time I need to work through my thoughts. My inability to listen at the moment seems not to bother her at all.

A minute before the bell is scheduled to ring signaling a return to the class schedule, Edward strides through the doors, walking directly toward with a reserved smile. "I'll take Bella to class, Alice," he states, pushing me away before I can say goodbye.

He settles me into my usual seat in Biology and sits beside me, grimly facing the front. The severe look on his face would put fear in my heart not even a month ago. Today it only reinforces the fact that I must act now. I must put an end to this mockery of a relationship.

"Edward," I state, placing my hand on his arm to get his attention. He turns toward me but his eyes do not light up nor do his lips curl into the crooked smile that has left me swooning more times than I can remember. "I really want you to take me to the meadow today. You can carry me there. There's no reason to say no," I tell him, letting a little of my desperation seep into my voice.

"If it's really that important to you," he answers without emotion before turning back to the front of the room.

Biology passes without further comment. Edward wordlessly escorts me to gym, leaving me at the doorway of the girl's locker room to await Alice. Without even a platonic kiss, without a word he disappears down the hallway and out the door.

During gym I sit in a distant corner, watching the class play some silly game of hitting a small plastic cone back and forth over the volleyball net with flimsy tennis type rackets. For a moment I am thankful for my current confinement to this stupid chair.

Edward is waiting for me beside his car as Alice pushes me out through the parking lot. "Well, I guess I'll see you two later," she says, a small sad smile illuminating the worry in her golden eyes.

Edward loads my chair in the back and quickly drives away toward the woods. Driving unknowingly toward the end of us. My nerves cause my hands to shake in my lap. I slide them under my thighs, sitting on them to keep Edward from sensing my nervousness. No matter how he takes what I have to say, I know that after today I will be free to love fully the only one who truly holds my heart. Never before have I faced confrontation so eagerly.

**AN: So what ya think? HMMMM how will eddiekins take the news, any guesses? Oh and thanks for not letting me cry last time. I hate crying it gives me headaches.**


	9. You are Mine x bella x

**AN: On this day 18 years ago... I WAS BORN!!! Yeah me ;-) Raucous singing ensues *Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, I'm gonna go party, happy birthday to me!***

**Disclaimer: NO, I'm not some famous writer, who sits at home and writes books and gets paid millions of dollars for it. DUH! I just abuse her characters.**

** You are Mine (Bella)**

Edward and I barrel down the roads at an alarming rate of speed. The few buildings between the school and the old two lane highway that will lead us to the meadow whip by too quickly to recognize. A frightening, loud screech fills the air. My body is thrown to the right harshly as Edward makes his turn without touching the breaks. The volvo fishtails violently three times before he expertly brings it back under control.

I reach toward the radio thinking maybe some music will lighten the atmosphere or at least cover the erratic beating of my heart. Edward turns his distant gaze upon me and simply shakes his head no. I pull my hand back wondering what I have done to make him this angry at me. His current unexplainable agitation does not bode well for a reasonable response to my news.

Within moments the highway dead ends at the mouth of an overgrown trailhead. The slamming of Edward's door rips me away from my mental reprieve. Cold arms wrap around my back and under my legs gently but not lovingly. Wind whips past us blowing my hair around and knotting it over my face. I listen for the sound of Edward's steady breathing which has always settled my nerves. Leaves rustle and his feet plod onward across the waterlogged forest floor, but his chest remains with no movement of breath.

A large boulder adorns the southern edge of the clearing. Edward carries me over to the boulder depositing me gently onto the steep slope of rock. Spreading his unnecessary jacket over the rough damp surface before he sits down. My hand, of its own accord, reaches across the body width distance between Edward and myself. The feeling of his cool skin beneath mine comforts me in its likeness to Alice's. I breathe deeply readying myself for what needs to be said.

Edward turns to face me his eyes dark, no discernible emotion in his gaze. "Edward," I sigh, closing my eyes momentarily willing myself to go on. "I know you are still very upset over what happened in Phoenix. I want you to know I truly am sorry for my actions. I should have trusted you and your family. I should have known you would never hurt me or allow anyone I love to be hurt. I doubted you and I'm sorry."

Silence fills the meadow while I wait for any kind of response from Edward. Minutes pass as he sits staring into the forest without reply as if he had not heard me at all.

"I don't really know what has caused it, but since we came back, I feel like you do not want me to be in your presence." I whisper.

"That's not true Bella. I love you; I love you more than you will ever know." Passion shines in his glare for a split second before being covered by his emotionless mask.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" If he had not withdrawn so suddenly from me both emotionally and physically we may not be sitting here. Had he only shown me his love was still strong maybe we would still be happy. I know not what the cause is, but beneath his mask I can see deep sorrow.

"I'm not good for you Bella. I told you that when we started becoming friends; I still believe it." His growling voice echos off the trees emphasizing the conviction behind his words.

I long to argue that what he says is not true, but I know it will do no good. It is better that he is ready to distance himself. Drawing him closer to me, trying to comfort him will only cause both of us more pain.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe we were never supposed to be together." My voice barely audible and laced with regret, hangs in the still air between us a nebulous, non-retractable barrier.

Edward's dark ocher eyes pierce mine with an intense scrutiny. The furrowing of his brow testifies to his shock and disbelief. The anguish plainly written in his expression is too much to bear.

I close my eyes, knowing I will not be able to continue otherwise. "I don't want to hurt you anymore, and if we stay together we are both going to cause the other pain. I don't want to end up hating you."

Anger and confusion contort Edward's face, his glare turning vicious. "Hate ME?!" He yells, his voice bouncing back at us from all directions creating a violent symphony of echos. "What have I ever done that would make you hate me?"

Tears stream down my face as I look toward the distant trees. "You don't love me." I whisper. "I love you, but not in the way I need to. If we stayed together I would end up hating you because..." My voice trails off becoming one with the silent breeze sweeping past us.

God, I can't say this. I can't do this. Why did I think I was strong enough; I should have just let it fall apart on its own. I wish I were home; I just want to curl up in bed with my head under my pillow and pretend the world does not exist. The memory of Alice's fragrance lingering on my pillow this morning is like a soft reassuring caress. If I can not do this, I will loose her. Nothing would make my life worth living without her loving me.

The warm meadow air fills my lungs slowly, calming me. I turn to face Edward making sure he can not misunderstand or disbelieve what I say. "I would end up hating you because, I'm in love with someone else. I want to be with her."

My words silently repeat themselves on his lips, his eyes darkening with each passing, till finally his mind seems to accept what it has heard. His angry somewhat panicked voice repeats my words through twisted lips displaying glistening sharp teeth coated in venom. Edward spits to the side ridding himself of a mouthful of death.

My body shakes violently as Edward grabs my arms tightly pushing me back into the hard uneven surface of the boulder. Sharp points bite into the skin of my legs and back as he positions himself over me crushing my lower body with his weight. "You want to be with _HER_!" He growls, spitting small droplets of venom on my face. The skin burning where they landed. I try reaching up to wipe off the toxic fluid, but Edward catches me by both wrists pinning them to the rock above my head.

Thoughts fly through my head too quickly for me to fully focus on them. I stare up at Edward's menacing deadly face to terrified to speak. "Who is she?" He demands, his face coming closer to me. I shake my head back and forth trying to move further away from him.

Dread fills me, adrenaline flows through me giving me the will to try to fight him off. I pull my arms trying to break his iron grasp. I push my foot against the boulder trying to lift my knee to buy purchase against the rock in hopes of getting out from under Edward; my attempts are futile. He looms over me, staring at me with an evil gleam.

His voice flows now like molten gold, smooth, enticing, deadly. "Who is she, Bella? Who dared to steal you away from me?"

A small stream of blood trickles down my lower lip, my teeth piercing the thin skin. Closing my eyes and biting down even harder on my lip I refuse to give him Alice's name. An unearthly calmness spreads through my tensed muscles, causing me to relax and quit fighting a battle I know I will not win.

Edward's eyes, black with rage and thirst burn into my own. "You were always meant to be mine Bella. From the very beginning, you were born to be mine." He purrs, his lips brushing hard and cold against my neck.

He breathes deeply skimming my skin with his nose, sending chills of terror down my spine. "You sing to me Bella. I was a fool to think I should resist, when this is clearly what was meant to be."

A sharp fleeting pain sears my neck as his lower teeth scrape upwards against my skin. "You will always be mine."

Images of the ones I love flash through my mind, a final farewell. Charlie sitting in his ancient plaid recliner watching ESPN; Renee attempting to contort her body into some strange yoga position while she chatters on about her new great passion. The kids at Forks sit around our lunch table yelling over each other trying to be heard. Mike throws a french fry at Eric for some stupid comment while Jessica and Lauren share gossip.

Blackness tunnels in, narrowing my vision. A red haze covers everything as the face of my beloved fills my mind. Her black hair in perfect disarray, red pouty lips whispering my name. Her eyes burning a beautiful topaz with love and passion. "Alice." I whisper my goodbye. My vision fades and darkness swallows me.

**AN: Yah another one. No time to get this beta'd so sorry for any mistakes.** **Please review, please *smiles sweetly***


	10. Fury x alice, emmett x

**AN: Nope still not Stephenie Meyer, and if she could she would probably make me eat soap after this chapter.**

Fury (Alice)

The sound of tires burning rubber draws the attention of every student remaining in the parking lot. I stand staring at the quickly disappearing tail end of Edward's car. "Now, I wait." I exhale deciding to take the long way home, I begin walking along the road away from school at a slow pace. The solitude and silence of the walk will be my perfect companions.

I allow my mind to drift as my feet move forward following the path home without effort. For the first time since that terrible day Bella ran away from us, I feel hope. Tonight Bella will be mine alone. I will be able to hold her without fear of repercussion. A thrill of excitement runs through me at the thought of loving her openly and without reservation.

The forest edges up against the narrow road I walk upon, calling me into its cover. The two mile walk has been soothing to my frazzled nerves, but I long to run. Stepping under the disguising cover of the forest I let myself free, running with joyful abandon toward home. I need to get ready for Bella's return.

Leaves fall off of bushes and tree branches brushing against my arms as I run through the densely packed foliage. The green of the leaves fades as a cloud envelopes my vision pulling me violently away from the present. An aura of urgency vibrates around me as I slip into a glimpse of the future. All movement stops, my legs collapse from under me in horror as I watch the premonition unfold.

"_Who is she?" Edward growls threateningly, his eyes black. He leans in dangerously close to her breathing deeply, his expression hardens turning predatory._

_Bella's head shakes vigorously her eyes fearful. Pain distorts her face as she brings her hands forward as if to protect herself. Edward violently grabs her wrists slamming her arms back against the rock above her head pinning her down. A small gasp of pain escapes Bella's now quivering lips, tears streak down her cheeks. She closes her eyes biting her lower lip with enough pressure to leave the skin under her teeth white with pressure._

"_Who is she Bella, who dared steal you away from me?" He asks, his voice alive with the talent of our kind. Luring her into a state of peace, easing her bodily stress with his pheromone laced breath. He employs the weapons of the hunt. _

_Bella's body relaxes under his touch, her weak protests cease, leaving her motionless under his touch. Her lips part in a silent scream, her arms strain against Edward's momentarily as his face disappears under the cover of her hair claiming her as his own._

_A final word whispers from her lips, "Alice." A peaceful smile forms as her body stills._

The trees tremble with the unbelievable volume of a tortured animalistic howl. My ears ring with the sound, my body quakes with the forceful emotion drowning the creature. I cover my ears trying to shut out the cries of misery. I curl in a ball rocking back and forth as my body rocks with sobs. The howling continues, echoing the cries of my soul.

Strong hands pry my hands away from my ears, making the screams of torture louder. My head flies back with a loud cracking sound; my cheek burns.

Emmett stands over me, his large hands gripping my shoulders tightly, his confused terrified eyes search the surrounding bushes. "Emmett." I choke out through my sobs.

His face brightens looking down at me and pulling me into a tight embrace. "Oh God Alice, you scared me! I heard you screaming all the way at the house. I thought you were under attack."

Bella's face flashes before me again, a gasp escapes me. I've wasted too much time laying on the forest floor already. "We've got to go now!" I yell, grabbing Emmett by the hand and forcing him to run with me.

"Alice, what's going on? Where are you taking me? Damn it Alice tell me what's happening!" Emmett commands as he races with me toward Edward's meadow.

"He's going to kill her!" I explain nearing hysteria. "Oh please let us be in time. Emmett you have to stop him!"

"Stop who?" He asks speeding up to run along side me. His hand pulls out of mine; he looks at me with doubt and worry in his eyes.

"Edward is going to kill Bella!" I scream grabbing his hand again, forcing him to stay with me.

"Shit!" He yells his fist clenching in anger.

Seconds later we burst through the trees racing into the clearing. Bella's body lays still pinned to the rock by Edward's weight. His face buried in her neck; his body shakes with rage.

The quietest of whispers floats from Bella's smiling lips, "Alice."

"Noooo!" I charge toward Edward blinded by fury.

Edward whips around his face marred with madness, crimson blood taints his lower lip. "You," He hisses crouching low to attack. "You did this! You stole her from me!"

Bella's body slides to the ground without the support of Edward's weight. Grass hides her face from view as she lies at the base of a large boulder. A few early spring flowers frame her body as if she were merely taking a peaceful rest.

I lunge for Edward's throat. He will die for this.

**(Emmett)**

I can't pull my eyes away from Bella's crumpled body. How could Edward have done this? Edward and Alice dance around each other in the center of the field taking turns dashing toward the other in attempted attack. Neither one ever landing a hit. Their growls and hisses fill the meadow menacingly.

Slowly I walk toward the girl I thought of as a little sister. Grief grips my dead heart. The concussion of boulders crashing together blasts through the meadow shattering my mournful reflection.

At the far end of the field Alice has Edward gripped by the hair using her free arm to press Edward face first into a tree, her elbow planted securely against his spine. Edward pushes against the tree splintering the thick trunk and throwing Alice off his back and hundreds of yards into the meadow. He leaps toward her. Alice rolls to the left narrowly avoiding his attack, springing up on her fingertips arching her body back she plants her legs on either side of Edward's head twisting in the air as she uses her momentum to carry her back over him.

Edward lays prone under Alice, his arms pushing against her small torso which pins him to the ground. Small fists fly through the air pummeling his face repeatedly, creating a barrage of violent cracking blasts of noise.

I turn back and run to Bella. Her skin is warm under my attentive touch. I search her for injuries. Her heart beats steadily, air moves in and out of her lungs uninhibited. Large black and purple bruises form on her wrists. Drying blood cakes her lower lip, and crusts a trail down her neck discoloring the collar of her shirt.

Shit, the bastard bit her. I stop breathing as a fire burns in the back of my throat. I turn Bella's head gently to the side to see where she has been bit remembering Edward removing the venom from her bloodstream. The side of her neck is torn from the collarbone to her ear by a long and bloody but shallow gash. No veins have been ruptured.

Why would Edward do that? Why would he cut her with his teeth?

"I wish I knew what the fuck was going on here." I mumble looking back toward the field where Alice and Edward attempt to end the others time on Earth.

Edward's shirt has been torn to shreds and is laying in pieces over the field. His back and sides gleam with venom where Alice has successfully landed attacks. Edward stands still, crouched for defense as Alice circles him at incredible speed biding her time before her next attack.

I watch Alice's circling pattern timing my move flawlessly. As she passes I throw myself behind her tackling the bastard to the ground. My knee landing a crushing blow to his groin as I throw him to the ground allowing his body to absorb the full force of my attack.

"You," punch, "Sick," punch, "Twisted," punch "Little," punch, "Fuck!" Edward's face remains expressionless as my fists fly alternately slamming against his temples. "What the fuck were you thinking! You could have killed her!"

Edward groans underneath me but does not try to defend himself. "Bella?" Alice whispers dropping to her knees beside me. Her shoulders shake as she stares at me, disbelief and relief shining in her eyes.

"She's still alive?"

A gush of wind rustles the tall grass around us, Alice kneels wrapping her arms around Bella, "Bella, Oh thank god, Bella!" She sobs burying her face into Bella's hair as she cradles her in her arms.

"Emmett," Alice calls, her voice a bit calmer but still furious. "I've got to get Bella to Carlisle. I think she's in shock, and that asshole broke her wrist!"

"No worries, I'll take care of the asshat. Go take care of Bella, tell her I'm gonna come check on her when I'm done with this douche bag." I answer, cracking my neck and knuckles.

"You feel like you need to hurt someone still Edward? Get up on your feet." I growl in Edward's face.

He lies on the grass refusing to move. "My issue isn't with you."

"No, your issue isn't with me hu? Well maybe I've got an issue with you. Yah, in fact I do." I sneer lowering myself to stare in his weak eyes. "I've got a real issue with you hurting Bella."

"Yah, well you won't have to worry about that anymore." Edward pushes himself up off the ground with ease, staring straight in my eyes before turning and running into the forest.

**AN: So yah, it's a two for one night since they were both short. God this kicked my butt. Still don't know if I'm really happy with the way it turned out, but there it is. Maybe I'll play with it more later.**

**Please let me know what you think. Review please.**


	11. Blood xalicex

**No I still own nothing: All characters are property of Stephenie Meyer.**

**Oh, and this will probably be the last I post for this story till after Christmas, so... MERRY CHRISTMAS!, HAPPY HANUKKAH, HAPPY KWANZA, AND HAVE A WONDERFUL SOLSTICE!!! If I forgot anyone sorry, HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!  
**

Blood

With Bella's warm body cradled in my arms I run through the forest, dodging trees and avoiding branches effortlessly. In mere minutes our large, white house appears through the dense trees as a welcoming beacon.

"Carlisle!" I yell as I break through the trees. Silence answers my pleas.

I leap over the stairs and through the front door not pausing even the split second to shut it behind me. No noises can be heard in the house, not a whisper of breath or movement. Where has everyone gone?

Bella moans as I carry her up the stairs to my bedroom. She looks so fragile, so broken; my heart rips each time I see the bruises darkening under her pale skin. Dark red blood stains the collar of her shirt, spreading along her neckline.

Thirst rages, spreading fire through my throat and lungs while venom churns like acid and scalds my insides. My instincts battle against my will, urging me to take what is so easily available. Amazingly, even though my body screams for Bella's blood that flows so freely from the wound on her neck I am able to ignore its demands. The small gasps being pulled in and out from between parted lips and the steady beat of my love's heart keeps me grounded, keeps me human. The monster will not rage today.

Soft blue cotton sheets ripple around Bella's sleeping form. Quickly, I work as gently as possible to rid her body of her potent spilled blood. I carefully tear her shirt away from her body, making sure not to pull too hard and bruise her more. Dark purple bruises are visible on both sides of her torso and collarbone. Swelling distorts her wrist and hand from where Edward slammed it into the rock and applied far too much force to restrain her.

I rush to Carlisle's office after covering Bella with the top sheet and duvet to retrieve his medical bag. Back in my room I clean the wound on her neck with antiseptic and cover it with gauze pads making sure not to get her hair stuck in the adhesive strips.

Thank goodness Edward only grazed her neck, scraping away layers of skin and leaving behind a nasty wound, but he did not bite her or break the surface of any veins. Had his venom found its way into her bloodstream there would have been no hope of stopping her transformation now. She will forever bear the scar from his attack, but she will bear it alive and human.

I sit beside Bella, taking her warm, soft, unresponsive hand into my own. The familiarity of this motion haunts me. Memories of the promise I made just days ago while Bella lay unconscious, suffering from wounds that still are not healed, torment me. "Never again, Bella, you will never get hurt again because of me. I promise." The words of my empty promise taunt me painfully.

With every breath Bella breathes the whispered words of my vow to her mock me, reminding me that once again I have failed her. Had I run when I first saw the vision of Edward attacking her, would I have been there in time to keep my promise? Had I not collapsed in my own misery, would she be laughing and smiling at me while she held my hand instead of laying there still and quiet in the deep sleep of one who has been through severe trauma?

_Clouds of vapor distort my vision as familiar buzzing rings through my mind, pulling me away from my contemplations of Bella. I attempt to fight the coming vision. I want to see Bella; I want to focus solely on her. The pull of my vision is too strong; I cannot resist. I close my eyes, relaxing my mind and body and allow the premonition to pull me away from the one I love for only a minute. "No longer," I promise myself._

_Bella lies in bed covered by the same light blue sheets and duvet I have just tucked her under. Her body convulses and pain distorts her features. A scowl of agony creases her brow and squeezes her eyes shut tightly. A loud screeching scream fills the room. I lay holding Bella's quaking body tightly in my arms as quiet sobs shake my own frame adding to the violent motion._

_The light filtering through the open curtains changes from the orange glow of dusk to the blackish ink of night. No moon lights the room and all is silent and perfectly dark. Bella's body still shakes as if trying to rid itself of biting insects. I attempt to soothe Bella's discomfort by stroking her bare skin with my chilled hands as her limbs flail under invisible attack. Her body relaxes temporarily with each touch and whispered word of encouragement, but her pained expression never falters._

_Deep amaranthine hues spread through the room, lighting the room in bloody light as the sun rises through the thick cloud covered sky. Light spreads slowly across the bed, illuminating Bella's now still form. I lie prone beside her, unable to move, lost in my own remorse and the knowledge of Bella's suffering. The once steady rhythm of her heart falters, skips, and stalls never to be heard again._

_A deep, mournful howl rips through the morning air. The harsh, painful sound echoes through the silent house._

_Op_ening my eyes I find myself on the floor, my arms curled tightly around my body. What have I done?

I can wait for their return no longer. Carlisle's cell phone rings once before his calming voice comes on the line.

"Carlisle, Bella is hurt. I don't know what exactly is wrong, but I have just had a very bad vision and I need to know what to do," I tell him, rushing my words, making them unintelligible to mortals.

"Okay, Alice, I need you to do me a favor," Carlisle instructs smoothly, easing my tension with his confidence. "What I need you to do is not going to be easy, but I know you can do it. Are you in the room with Bella now?"

"Yes," I whisper, my nervousness and fear rising again as I look down upon Bella's overly pale face. Yellow circles form under her eyes as if she has not slept in days.

"First, I need you to give me a detailed description of how she was injured and every injury you can see." Carlisle instructed in a voice reserved for teaching med students during observation days.

I pull the covers down, layering them below Bella's feet so I could easily pull them back up when I finish inspecting her for possible injuries. The list of new injuries to report is fairly few. I tell Carlisle of her swollen, bruised wrists and the likelihood of a stress fracture of her right radius. I count out and give him the location of multiple bruises including the dark purple bruising on both sides of her torso.

Silence hangs over the phone for a second. "Alice, I need you to roll Bella over for me. I want you to look for any bruising, and also you need to feel for any areas that are unusually feverish." Whispered words I can't quite make out fill the void as I turn my attention back to Bella.

Her soft flesh molds to my stone arms as I lift Bella and very smoothly lay her on her stomach. I gasp as my eyes rake over her body. "Oh my God, Bella," a sob wracks my shoulders as I gingerly run my hand along the huge black and red bruise stretching the entire width of her back just below her ribs. Her skin molds under my fingers easier and deeper than normally possible. Heat radiates from the severe bruise, far too intensely.

"I need you to tell me what you see, Alice. I can't help you or Bella if I do not know what we are dealing with," Carlisle demands, bringing me out of my horrified stupor.

I explain the horrible bruise that covers half of her back and reaches up like grasping fingers on both of her sides. I describe the strange sensation of her skin swallowing my fingers when I apply even the lightest of pressure and the heat radiating from the surface. As I speak, my hands continue to rub lightly over the horrid bruise, as if by my simple touch I could make it disappear. I lay my hands flat on her injured area, trying to sooth the heat of her wound with my chilled skin.

"When did you last hunt?" Carlisle asks, his worry clear in his slightly hitched breath.

"What," I mindlessly reply. What does when I last hunted have to do with Bella's injury? "Um, night before last, I'm not thirsty right now, Carlisle; I would never endanger her."

"I know," he answers, his voice pained and laced with indecision. "I need you to trust me right now. What I am going to ask you to do is going to be very difficult. If you cannot handle it, I need to know you will leave her. If you can't do what I ask leave Bella where she is and go hunt immediately, do you understand? I can't tell you what to do next until I have your word."

"I promise, what do I need to do?" Whatever I have to do, I will. My hands begin shaking slightly as I remove them from Bella's overheated skin. I breathe deeply, awaiting further direction as I silently plead for strength. I can't let my vision come to fruition.

"Okay, I know you can do this, Alice. It sounds like Bella has some internal bleeding. I need to know where it is coming from. I've done this many times to locate internal injuries, but it's not easy." A silent pause breaks his speech as if to brace me for what is to come. An ominous doubt consumes me as his words sink in.

I know what he is going to ask of me; he's shared stories of how our heightened senses have helped him save lives in the past that no human doctor could have saved. By releasing our fragile hold on humanity and letting our predatory instincts take over we are able to find the places inside a human body where blood flows in an irregular manner, thus diagnosing the source of internal bleeding. The risk of course is great, once we release ourselves there is no conscious mind controlling our impulses. Only the strongest of vampires could resist in such a situation.

I run my fingers through my tangled hair trying to calm my mind. Endless possibilities of failure race one after another painting multiple scenes of destruction and death. I let each small vision play itself out watching how ever small change I can think of effects the future. None of my visions end well.

"I can't do it," I whisper in despair.

"You can do this, Alice. Bella needs you to do this for her," Carlisle encourages, but I know it is not the truth. If I try this, Bella will die. I will not allow that.

"No, Carlisle, I can't." More whispered conversation too quiet for me to hear clearly passes on the other end of the line.

"I'm on my way back," Carlisle replies. I release a long held breath knowing that soon he will be here. He will know how to help Bella. He'll be able to help prevent my vision from happening. "We're on the far side of La Push; I'll be home in ten minutes."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I exhale, relief flooding me.

"Don't thank me yet, Alice. Watch her closely." His final words before hanging up are not encouraging. The silent statement in those two sentences rings loudly in my heart.

I roll Bella back over onto her back and watch her slow, labored breathing. A hollow rattling sound now accompanies each breath. The yellow circles under her eyes have darkened; the skin on her cheeks has begun to turn sallow, matching the unhealthy bags under her eyes. Star-like miniature blood bursts darken the skin of her lips and brow. Her heart's tempo has dropped. What once beat out a strong, vivacious pulse has dropped to a dilapidated largo waltz.

I reach forward brushing wayward locks of hair off of Bella's face, caressing her closed eyes and allowing my finger to trail down the soft contours of her face before resting my open hand over her slowly beating heart.

"I've failed you again, Bella," I whisper, my throat choking on my words as my muscles involuntarily contract, conspiring to stop any further speech.

A violent spasm rocks Bella's body. Her breathing halts and her eyes fly open unseeing. I count the seconds waiting for her seizing muscles to release her from their torment. Seventy two seconds after her muscles first seized, sending her body into powerful convulsions, Bella's eyes roll back, her lids closing as if in sleep. The muscles in her arms and legs relax sinking into the soft mattress. I hold her face lightly in my hands, kissing her brow as I sob.

A breeze ruffles through Bella's long hair splayed out on the pillow. The ends float up on the wind like a soft halo. Carlisle leans down over Bella's still frame. His fingers gently pry open her eyelids to examine her bloodshot eyes. His eyes darken as he breathes in deeply, leaning closer into Bella, his hands softly running over her abdomen, pressing lightly into her flesh.

A glazed, nearly violent expression twists his features as he rolls Bella over onto her stomach. Loud growls issue forth from deep within his chest, the rumbling filling the air with a palpable vibration. Black, bottomless depths glare up at me seconds before turning back to further examine the atramentaceous bruising.

"Her spleen is ruptured and there's a large tear in her right kidney." Carlisle pauses looking to me with a question in his gaze. "How did she get injured, Alice? I haven't seen injuries like this except after serious collisions."

Anger boiled the venom coursing through my granite veins. One word, one name is all I can force in reply. "Edward."

"That explains a lot," Carlisle states sadly, turning back toward Bella. "We need to release the pressure building in her kidney; the pooling blood is increasing the pressure on her functioning organs. If we don't reduce it her body will go into complete systemic failure."

Carlisle reaches into his black leather doctor's bag I had deposited on the bed side table and withdraws a scalpel, the sharp blade glinting in the dim sunlight streaming in through the open curtains. "After I make the incision I need you to hold gauze over the wound with light pressure to moderate the flow of blood. If we don't moderate it, we will throw her body into shock."

I watch as the blade slices through the thin, taut layer of Bella's delicate skin. The air becomes thick with the heady, narcotic aroma of Bella's blood as a puddle of the crimson liquid saturates the thick pad of gauze clasped tightly in my hand. I press the bandage over the small incision, stunting the flow of blood but not stopping it.

Bella's life blood seeps between my fingers dying, my hand a gruesome red. The beast in all of our kind battles for dominion in both Carlisle and me. Our love for Bella overpowers any threat of nature, pressing us onward to do everything possible to help her.

Bella's body seizes harshly. Every muscle contracts and releases, causing her limbs to thrash furiously and blood to pulse out of the small cut with each contraction.

"She's loosing blood too quickly, you need to press harder," Carlisle commands while trying to hold Bella's arms at her sides to prevent her from causing more damage.

A large puddle of blood soaks into the sheets, changing them from a calming blue to a horrid macabre rose. The scent is almost overwhelming. My hands shake as I use the fingers of both hands to press directly against the cut in her flesh. The saturated cloth bandage lies discarded next to the pillow on which Bella rests her head, unaware of the battle to save her life.

Blood continues to pulse heavily although slowly through my fingers, the pressure applied doing nothing to stem the flow. The black plum coloring of her back has faded to a frightening red as the clotted blood flows through the incision only to be quickly replaced by fresh blood hemorrhaging from her kidney and spleen.

"She's losing too much blood. She needs surgery immediately," Carlisle informs me, sounding nearly frantic for the first time in memory.

A shadow of the vision I had earlier plays in my mind, showing me the futile effort of getting her to the hospital. "There's not enough time for that." My voice sounds hollow, devoid of life.

"Then we have a choice to make. You are her best friend; do you believe she would want our life if she could answer for herself?"

"Yes." I hope I'm right. We have not spoken of the possibility of eternity since our brief conversation while she was in the hospital, but my pride and my heart yell at me that it is true. I cannot go on without her by my side.

Carlisle nods, his eyes laden with sorrow as he leans toward Bella placing his lips at her neck. "Wait!" I yell grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back. He gives me a questioning glance before moving back toward Bella. "No, please, I think she would want me to be the one to... I think she would want it to be me who bit her."

"Okay." Worry shines in his eyes as he appraises the thirst blackened state of my own eyes. "With the amount of blood she's already lost you need to make sure not to take more than necessary for your venom to be exchanged. More than two bites is too risky, you will need to bite on the carotid artery just above the clavicle and the femoral artery on the inside of her thigh. The higher you place the bite on her thigh the quicker your venom will spread."

A million doubts start to race through my head, shouting my own insecurities at me, convincing me of my imminent failure. One lone thought stands silent amongst the rest a tribute to the possibility of success. This memory of a past vision pulls me forward, urging me on. I gaze at Bella's paling yellow tinted face and compare it to the fire eyed beauty in my mind. We will be together, I can do this.

The last vestiges of doubt flee me as I press my teeth through the thin barrier of Bella's skin. Her blood flows hot down my throat as I draw three long draughts of the heavenly nectar allowing my venom to flow through the emptied canal of her artery. I pull away, knowing I need to move on to the second bite before the flames marking the toxic march of my venom through her body begin to make her writhe in agony.

I crawl onto the bed lying myself across one of Bella's legs. Carlisle holds Bella's arms which are twitching with the first flames of change. My body quakes at the warm silken touch of Bella's skin against my lips. Closing my eyes I bite deeply making sure to hit the buried femoral artery in the first attempt. Drawing deeply I swallow and allow the venom to pool in my mouth. I force the venom into circulation in Bella's body with three quick tugs of suction, not allowing anymore of her blood escape. Every drop is precious and indispensable now.

The puncture wound on her back is already healing, her blood loss has lessened drastically in the minute it took for my venom to begin its work in her body. Her arteries and veins are hardening, stifling her internal hemorrhaging.

Carlisle stands over me, a proud smile lighting his demeanor. "Now we wait."

Bella rests in my arms, her limbs occasionally striking out at an invisible menace while Carlisle changes the mattress and wipes away the evidence of Bella's injuries from her quickly cooling skin. I lay Bella down and crawl in bed beside her, wrapping her firmly in my arms and humming quietly in her ear as the setting sun sends rays of yellow and orange through the open window. It lights the room with color, an illustration of my renewed hope.

**AN: For anyone scratching their heads still over last weeks "double update". Go back and check out chapter nine, I posted it at the same time as ten. *wink* I have gotten lots of questions about that.**

**Hope you all enjoyed the update. If you did please be so kind as to tell me so, it makes the time I spend writing sooooo worth it! Oh and Roonie, thanks for making me try something new the other week, I'm totally over it now. *SMILES***


	12. Visions x Alice x

**AN: Just a quick note of apology that it has been literally forever since I last wrote. I needed a break and then found it was hard to get back into the story. I think I got my muse back now after chasing her down and tying her to my computer, so she won't disappear again. Okay, warning I am taking a slight artistic license with the whole wolves blocking visions thing. Alice still can't actually see "them", but they are an unseen part of her visions. If that makes sense. **

Visions (Alice)

Minutes tick into hours, sliding into days as Bella lay in my arms. I hum softly, ignoring the repetitive ticking that marks the painfully slow passage of time from the grandfather clock in the foyer. Bella's change thus far has been fairly quiet. My voice seemingly offering some form of comfort during the worst of it.

Short bursts of screaming echo around the room, never lasting long, but tearing my frozen heart to shreds every time. The pain quaking her voice is enough to cause my entire body to convulse in dry sobs. The unreleasable agony spreading throughout my limbs till I am left as weak as the beautiful angel who lies beside me.

Only the undeniable pull of my visions brings me any reprieve from the guilt I feel over Bella's suffering. Only when pulled away from this immediate world where my heart, so long dead and almost forgotten rules my body, can I find a small measure of peace. My arms wrap tightly around Bella's still form as my vision blurs, a familiar electric feeling buzzing throughout my body. I close my eyes letting myself be drawn away from the present, knowing any movement or noise from Bella will bring me back.

_Dark evergreen leaves blur into obscurity as we race through the forest, an angry howling echoing off the mountain peaks surrounding us. The high pitched wailing bouncing off the steep rock cliff sides creates the illusion of being surrounded. Carlisle searches the thick foliage around us for signs of their advance._

_Bella's hand grasps mine frantically, her eyes darting from tree to tree and rock formation to shadow. Fear radiating from her rigid posture. Indecision marks her movement, she darts forward speeding our pace only to slow back down severely a second later as a large shadow darkens our path. Her body swiveling as she runs, terror lighting a raging fire behind her crimson eyes. _

A high pitched musical scream shatters the stillness surrounding me ripping me away from the horror of my vision, back to the now seemingly peaceful present. Bella thrashes in my arms, I struggle to hold her still. Hard nearly granite muscles fighting to free themselves from my grasp.

"Shh.. It's okay Bella. I'm right here my love, it's okay. Soon baby, soon this will all be over. It's almost finished, soon my love. Shh.." I whisper soothingly in her ear.

My eyes gaze upon the changes already visible. Her face has lost the last vestiges of childhood softness; her cheeks and jaw more refined, making her appear older and more mature. The thrashing diminishes to a weak resistance; Bella's body slowly relaxing back into my embrace. I continue to whisper words of encouragement as I hold her feeling her heart slow in increments.

The memory of my first vision concerning Bella replays in my mind. Her lush, red lips curl up slightly in a loving smile while her eyes dance with a flood of emotion. I smile happily, knowing my still heart would be racing if it were still capable of it. With all my ability to see the future never had I dreamed that look of love would be for me.

My fingers dance along Bella's newly defined facial structures memorizing her forever. A small scowl of pain creasing her brow relaxes as my fingers caress her skin, no longer burning with the heat of human blood. The end of her transformation is near. A small smile curves the corners of her lips as if a happy memory or maybe her last pleasant dream is passing through her mind. My heart saddens at the thought that this will be the last time I ever get to witness the beauty of Bella during sleep. I'll never again get to hear her murmur confused words of nonsense as her mind processes a ll she has seen that day. The words that flow from her heart when her mind is no longer in control will be forever silenced.

I force myself to once again focus on the vision of love radiating from Bella's blood red newborn eyes. I will not lament Bella's lost humanity. With all I am and all I have to give I will hold tightly to Bella in the knowledge that now we will be together forever, never having to fear the ultimate separation.

The familiar haze of another vision pulls me away again. I shiver fearing a repeat of my last horrifying vision. I grab Bella's hand in mine as I slip away from conscious thought, needing to know we are still connected.

_Glimpses of changing scenery flash before me, confusing in its variety and speed of change. Snow capped mountains flash before barren rocky cliffs overlooking a stormy sea and grey sky. This just as quickly replaced by wide fields of browning wheat, a large familiar house sitting far back against a canopy of trees, before I can focus on the structure the scene has changed once again. Green tinted light filters through a dense cover of large tropical leaves, casting an eerie hue over foreign plants. A thick layer of fallen, decomposing leaves squish with moisture under foot. I look carefully searching for any sign of where I might be, or whom this future belongs too. As my frustration grows the scene melts away. A decision discarded, stone towers loom on either side of me. The babble of thousands of voices f ill the air, people of all ages gather in a circular town center. A stone fountain bubbling as the water cascades down the multiple small falls. Children laugh and splash as parents stand around listening to a loud voice proclaiming a day of celebration over a loud speaker. The vision becomes more vivid, details setting solidly, someone's choice making this the definite future. I take in every face in the crowd trying to discern who's future I am seeing. The sun glints off a form tucked just barely in the shadows of an almost empty alley. Edward._

A gentle cool breeze caresses my cheek, something stirs in my still heart desperately calling me back to the present. As my vision clears I see a living dream before my eyes. Silken hair the color of roasted chestnuts falls in a curtain around my face blocking every sound, every sight, every nuance of the world surrounding me. I am lost in the gaze of my one true love, her crimson eyes burning with love and concern.

"Alice," she whispers, her voice the chorus of angels. The sound of my name being formed by her perfectly lush lips ignites a raging inferno in my frozen body. A satisfied smile plays at the corners of her mouth lighting her face to shine in even more unfathomable beauty. Without conscious thought my hands lift to touch her. My Bella, my precious, eternal Bella.

Gently, lovingly I trace her face with my fingers, feeling the perfect smoothness of her skin. Her temperature now matching my own, her breath ghosting over my face stealing mine. Unable to stop myself I lift up off the bed pressing my lips to hers; my eyes never leaving her intoxicating gaze.

Bella's blood red eyes burn as the fires of desire build inside. Her body, no longer fragile, presses against mine forcefully. Her hands wrap around my waist and neck, her fingers playing with my short hair. My lips quiver as her tongue caresses them with barely restrained urgency.

Her hair wraps around my fingers as I bury one hand in her silken locks. My lips part as I gasp for unnecessary breath, my mind loosing all conscious thought as my body takes over. Long repressed desires rupturing my calm facade. Bella's cool skin calls to me, my hands gliding over her now perfectly invulnerable body. The smooth granite of her skin slides beneath my nails as they drag slowly down her back. Bella's tongue invades my mouth running over my teeth without hesitation, connecting with me in a way never before possible.

My vision clouds; I struggle to remain in the present. With the last of my will power I attempt to push the encroaching vision away, longing for nothing more than to be left alone in this perfect moment. My hands tracing invisible designs on Bella's back under her shirt clench into fists as my body sides with my will refusing to give in to the call of this vision without a fight. Every muscle in my body tensing in silent protest, screaming to continue loving Bella. In a final effort to circumvent this vision I throw my head back against the headboard hearing the sound of cracking wood. Blackness closes in upon me.

_A phone rings incessantly, a hazy light slowly filtering into the air. _

"_Hello," answers the most perfect voice. High and lilting with the perfect pitch of a songbird, but resounding and full, very assertive and sure while at the same time somehow humble and meek._

_A quiet fills the air as my angel, my beloved, my Bella listens to an inaudible voice on the other side of the line. Her brow creases with concern. My prone body lies beneath her unmoving resembling the corpse it truly is. She nods once, not bothering to answer verbally. With speed so amazing I can barely see her motion in my vision Bella shuts the phone sliding it into the back pocket of her dark jeans and begins shaking me. The worry on her brow deepens into pure panic as my body remains unresponsive beneath her._

_In less than a second she slides her ivory arms beneath me picking me up as if I weigh nothing more than the air itself. The room disappearing, the house left behind as she races through the forest with me in her arms. An aura of fear and unspoken danger lingers in the air we cut through, the ripples left in our wake almost visible in their intensity. _

_A mingle of voices can be heard in the distance. Bella's already impossible speed picks up bringing us to a clearing. The floor of the forest has been scraped clean by heavy construction equipment, leaving the earth raw and mangled. Red soil and rocks litter the ground in large clumps. The trees surrounding this man made circle are roughly hewn almost in half. The few remaining branches stretching out into the clearing having been stripped of their needles and shredded by some merciless cutting machine. They appear to be skeletal fingers reaching out for those who stand in the center of the clearing._

"_We must leave now, we've been left no alternative. I don't know how they've found out; I didn't know they had reestablished. We must flee." Carlisle instructs looking toward Bella with a sad paternal love and sorrow in his eyes. _

_An intense howling resounds through the forest, the intensity of hate laced in that sound setting terror to my thoughts. Darkness seeping into my vision once again as I slip out of this strange vision, my consciousness slowly returning._

**AN: I have already begun the writing of the next chapter so I promise it will be up this weekend sometime. And yah, I know this chapter was short. I needed to break the layer of ice on the story so I can get back into it. _Reviews still make me smile, so if your not too mad at me for disappearing for a month please leave one._**

**I looked back over my reviews and it looks like including myself there are actually only three people a little disturbed by Edward's behavior so if you want to see and EPOV one shot add on to this let me know and I will do it. If not then I will simply move forward as it. Thanks.**


	13. Run x Bella x

**AN: Thanks to you all for being so patient with me. I am no longer living in the middle of the desert with no internet in a friend's empty house. We have our own house now with real internet! YEAH!! So that means I can write again. I do have like a months worth of my online college classes to catch up on though since I have not had internet so the next update may take up to two weeks, but I won't disappear again. :)**

Run (Bella)

The fire racing through my veins dulls to a low ember slowing to the point of near stillness. The voice of my love, my angel echoes around me, no that's not quite right. My mind tries to make sense of this new sensation. Her voice so light lilting rich and piercing breezes around me, audible in the most amazing soft intimate way, nothing like an echo at all. My memory of her voice seems hollow compared to this new almost physical sense of her nearness. The air ripples around me carrying her words of love and devotion, brushing against my skin as soft and sensual as rose petals. Filling my lungs I breathe in her very essence. No echo, definitely not an echo.

My heart lifts swelling slowly, lethargic as if an enormous amount of gravity were pressing harshly against it restricting its movement. A new burst of heat charges through my chest as the muscle squeezes. The nearly crippled heat creeping along through my veins fizzling to a luke warm fluidness before cooling and stilling. The muscle never to throb again.

A strange pulling sensation moves along my skin, almost like what I would imagine grass feeling as it grows, subtle but mesmerizing. Something light yet solid, course yet made of a fine silken thread brushes against the skin of my arm, every fiber like a single strand of spider silk, yet woven together to create an intricate web of knots and bumps. These new sensations thrill me, my mind racing with the possibilities of what they may be. I wiggle my fingers feeling this amazing web gliding over them and under them, pressing down into something soft and very malleable the thin webbing dissolving beneath my touch replaced by a course scratchy fluff. I lift my hand away from the unpleasant substance.

Curiosity forces me to open my eyes to survey where I may be. Prisms of every color dance through the air around me catching the pale sunlight streaming through a large window covered with light sheer curtains. Small motes of dust float through the air catching in the pale light reflecting it and dancing through the air on the faintest of breezes like tiny fireflies.

A peaceful smile graces my lips as I watch in wonder. I take in the other details of the room I lay in. White walls, the paint spread carefully and meticulously, but still slightly uneven in its coating leaving some places a deeper hue than others where small streaks can be seen in the surface. Deep dark furniture with an intricate grain sits against the fall wall, polished till it too catches the soft light reflecting it off its surface.

A closet door stands open revealing a huge selection of clothing in every color imaginable. Shoes lay scattered around the floor like discarded play things and a small pile of clothing is thrown into the far corner of the room. I laugh lightly wondering whose room I am in. I find the contrast between the meticulously clean room and the overflowing slightly disorganized and a little messy closet more than amusing.

I push against the soft bed I lay upon covered with blankets of a rich deep purple feeling the material brush against my skin, smiling as I realize what the spider's web had been. Laughing at myself a bit for being so enchanted by something so simple, so mundane. The mattress gives way beneath my hands the fibers tearing and shredding as I flex my fingers. Hmm, I don't remember that ever happening before.

The suns' rays stream across the bed as I turn to look beside me. Crystalline light explodes from my arm, as I reach across the lights path, blinding in its brilliancy for a moment. I stare confused at the multifaceted light seemingly originating from my skin, a small amount of fear washing over me.

The air stirs slightly, visibly. The light shifting and swirling. I look to find the cause of this disturbance realizing it could not be me as I am not breathing and have not moved at all. This knowledge alone is a little disturbing.

I gasp as I see a figure laying beside me, the most angelic, beautiful being I have ever beheld. Her features more delicate than those of a finely made porcelain doll, her lips red, soft and flawless. An almost undeniable urge to kiss her overwhelms me. Who is this goddess laying in bed beside me?

Gently I reach toward her, very carefully remembering the torn mattress, I would never want to hurt anyone so precious as this beautiful girl. My fingers trail along her jaw, marveling in the soft perfection of her skin.

"_Alice!"_ My mind screams her name joyfully as my skin connects with hers a sudden flood of visual memories overtaking me.

My body shakes slightly as I watch memories of my life fly before my eyes: my mother, my father, childhood friends, playing in the freezing waves of a rocky beach with dark haired children, Phoenix, moving in with my father. My mind tenses as it settles briefly upon the memory of a pair of onyx eyes staring at me furiously. Edward. Our trip to the meadow plays before me. I watch disconnected as the memory of me fades into unconsciousness one face, one name, lingering in my mind mournfully. Alice.

An unstoppable magnetism pulls me toward her perfect lips, her name falling from my lips without thought or will. Love more powerful than I could ever be drawing me to her, "Alice." I whisper, shocked to hear my own voice bouncing back to me from across the room a cascade of silver bells.

My lips brush against her smooth lustrous lips no longer cool beneath my touch. I pull her lower lip between my own tasting her utter perfection. The sensation of my lips surrounding her skin drawing her into me mixing her taste with my own is so incredibly overwhelming. I find myself addicted to her taste; needing more before I have even pulled away. My tongue driving deeper into her mouth exploring every hidden place before restricted by my fragile human nature. Her teeth smooth and perfect, her tongue soft as it wrestles with mine for dominance. I feel her arms wrap around me as I settle more comfortably against her. My hips pressing into hers, feeling her strong small frame beneath my own. My mind soaring at the incredible electricity running through my now frozen veins bringing more life to my body than my fragile heart ever did.

Alice grips me tightly her fingers digging into the fragile material of my shirt her eyes raging desperately in an intense battle to maintain our passion filled gaze. Her body shakes seizure like as the passion and awareness seeps from her eyes leaving two beautiful topaz mirrors in their place. Her eyes no longer filled with love but merely reflecting my own. A low frustrated growl emanates from Alice's chest as her hands relax, releasing their death grip on my shirt as her head is thrown back into the headboard shattering the thick solid oak.

Alice lays silent her body still as a corpse. Her unnecessary breathing halted. A small quiver of fear races down my spine. The shadow of a memory of Alice from before my change is only a small reassurance that everything will be okay. The minutes tick by as she lays there truly frozen in time immobile and vacant, no longer able to respond to anything around her.

.I call her name lightly, my fingers tracing down her flawless face. A new burning sensation stings my eyes. A pressure building in my chest but finding no release. Images of the past flash before my eyes as I rub at them trying to ease the uncomfortable burning. Tears, if I were still living, if I were still human my face would be streaming with tears as sobs rip from my chest. Now all I feel is an empty aching in my chest and the acidic burn of pooling venom.

A raucous noise of plastic bouncing off of wood sounds through the room. I turn finding the source of the racket. A small silver cell phone lies on the polished dark wood side table. I pick it up instinctively pressing the talk button.

"Hello," I answer. Immediately a melodic male voice carries through the line.

"Bella, good you've awaken. Is Alice there?" He asks, before I can answer he flies into a directive. "We need you and Alice to meet us. We are at the clearing."

Without a second thought I grab Alice off the bed tearing the sheets in the process. My hands digging into the mattress as I lift her. Cotton fluff spilling out and metal springs snapping off pinging across the room as I turn and run through the door. The vivid memory from just moments ago leading my way through the house and out the front door racing toward the dense forest boundary lining the property.

Alice's strong yet limp body drapes across my arms light as a feather as I race through the forest. My eyes able to pick up the multiple hues of green on each and every pine we race past. Each fern littering the forest floor is a separate and intricate work of art, no two leaves ever forming the same pattern exactly. A detail far to minute for the human eye to ever perceive. I pick up speed as a small whimper escapes Alice's lips. A distant animal cry echoes through the air too quiet to hear if not for my newly improved senses. A small chill runs down my spine at the mysterious and unfathomably ominous sound.

The meadow approaches; a lone large boulder sitting proudly in the center of the field. A small dark stain mars a sharp protrusion on the mostly flat surface. Chills run along my spine as the scent of the dried blood assaults my senses. My mind races through the vivid memory of how that blood came to be staining the rock.

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie are gathered around the meadow. Each faces a different direction as if preparing to battle an invisible enemy. Their bodies shift forming a small circle around Alice and I as I run into the clearing.

"Alice?" Esme gasps, staring down at the prone form draped across my arms and held gently to my chest.

"She's been like this for the last ten minutes." I answer my voice shaking slightly with the fear I am unable to keep completely hidden. "It came on suddenly and I have been unable to awaken her."

"It seems as if she is trapped in a vision. She has become entranced like this a few times before. Don't worry Bella she will be back to normal very soon. This is extremely unfortunate timing however, her insight would prove very useful right now." Carlisle speaks softly to me as he looks over Alice a deep etch of concern creasing his brow as he speaks. My no longer beating heart freezes in my chest at this small sign that all might not be as well as he would like me to believe.

"Carlisle, what is happening?" I ask as another round of animalistic howling echoes around the forest coming from at least five different directions. It seems almost as if several large animals were communicating and planning a convergence point. That point seemingly directly where we stand at this moment.

"We need to flee Bella. I wish we had the time to explain fully, but things have not worked in our favor. There are creatures in these woods our family have lived in peace with for decades. Our truce with them was broken the moment Alice bit you. They will be here in a matter of minutes to revenge what they consider to be a fate worse than death for you. There will be no forgiveness for our actions, although we have all agreed there will also never be any regrets. I wish we could give you a better welcome into the family but for now we must run." Carlisle answers his voice and body calm. His unfettered facade only broken by the shifting of his eyes as he searches the surrounding dense foliage for whatever creatures inhabit these woods.

As one we take off heading north east Carlisle taking the lead. I follow carrying Alice easily in my arms, her body still limp as small whimpers escape through her closed lips. Her eyes moving rapidly beneath her slightly purple lids. I lean down kissing her lips softly silently promising her everything will work out. Promising that I will be here holding her when she wakes up, wherever here may be at that time. I promise myself as well as her that nothing, no unknown beast, will ever separate us. I will protect her with my very existence if necessary.

Esme and Rosalie flank me on the left and right as we run; Emmett pulling up the rear. The forest flashes past us in a very clear frenzy of movement. Large boulders litter the floor of a narrow valley before us sheer cliffs forming forbidding walls boxing us in. Loud, frightful howls echo through the valley. My eyes automatically scan for potential dangers. I race forward wishing to be out of this closed in space as quickly as possible. The movement of shadows in the darkened alleys between boulders causing me to stop before searching for another possible route of escape.

Everywhere I look shadows appear, shifting and looming. Never before have I felt so intimidated. Alice lying defenseless in my arms heightens my already hypersensitive senses. I must know what is around in order to protect her. An ominous feeling overtakes me causing my already tensed muscles to shake.

Along the edge of the trees lining the far border of the valley large canine forms come leaping from between the thick spruce. Evil howls echo from behind us. They bounce past us only to be matched by fierce howling from the beasts in front of us. Before I can react a circle of snarling sharp teeth and huge paws with dagger like claws paw around us. Menacing growls reverberating against the rock cliffs trapping us in this deadly dance.

A flash of fur passes me with a swift wind nearly indistinguishable in its speed. A sharp cutting sensation spreads through my leg as I turn to run in the opposite direction. Yelps and screams bounce off the deep cavernous walls of the valley. My eyes sweep the valley floor searching for help in any form.

A large russet colored beast hangs from the back of Emmett's neck, his fangs buried deep within his flesh. An agonizing wail erupting from his nearly severed head. A powerful yelp sounds through the valley as massive arms wrap around the giant wolf's torso squeezing till the dog falls limp to the ground.

I turn and dodge to the left as a huge black wolf baring his fangs leaps toward me. His full weight crashing into Alice's petite body. Fur fills my mouth as I bite savagely at the beast trying to free myself from his clawed and fatal embrace. A heart rending scream drowns out all other noises as my eyes fall upon the angel in my arms. Still and silent, never to speak, or sing, or love again. The horrific wound on her side leaving no doubt. The massive beast attacking with both teeth and claws before my eyes. With every bite and every attack he tears my love, my life, my world apart piece by small piece.

I long to feel the claws buried in my flesh. I long to suffer beside my lover. I long to race toward whatever end a creature such as myself may have, but the monster never touches me. Blackness swirls my vision as sobs wrack my body.

I shake violently my body prone on the ground next to the shattered remains of my life. A deep mournful wail fills the air surrounding us, the very oxygen shuddering with the force of my agony. A single word forming before the deep suffocating blackness envelopes me, "No."

**AN: Oooh was that a cliffy or The End.**

**Really, would I do that now? Puts finger to lip pondering**


	14. Time Collides x Bella x

**Disclaimer: Guess I have been forgetting this, so yah, I own none of these characters.**

**AN: Wow, this chapter is so exciting it put my girlfriend to sleep while I read it to her. :P Hope none of you fall asleep. LOL**

**Time Collides**

Floating and sinking, waves of dense water swirling around my body pressing in on me from all sides. Currents stronger than I pull at me in every direction as if trying to pull me apart at the seems. Pain radiates from my core racing through my veins leaving a trail of fire in its path. Never before have I felt anything so intense, so consuming. My mind fogs as I try to find an answer to the cause of this agony.

Nothing. My mind is a blank. Blackness swirled with grey cloud mars my vision, my thoughts muddled and unclear. Memory is a thing of the past. Have I ever really been? Am I really now? Why am I so pulled to these thoughts? I let myself float amongst the waves, my body weakening as it grows heavier and heavier, sinking through the currents till I lay spent on a soft bed of silk watching the waves swirl above me.

The inky darkness recedes. Spreading thin the black cover begins to emit small amounts of clear bright light. I long to reach toward it. I will my arm to lift; I strain to lift myself toward the light. The light is good. This I know is true. How I know it is true I do not know, but it is. It simply is.

Sounds begin piercing through the thick blanket of silence. Bird song rings through the abyss. The picture of a bright red cardinal perched on the spines of a barrel cactus in the cool of a desert winter day pulls me in. I smile at the memory wondering why it draws me to it so. I try to lift my body; I try to go to the bird. I long to hear its song, but my body will not move.

I try to hold on to the image. I focus on each little detail believing if I concentrate hard enough I can keep the image alive as the waves of darkness swell over me again. Pulling at me, tearing me from the vision of the past I love so. Blackness. Silence. Nothing.

My body sways with the movement of the murky water surrounding me. Fear fills my mind as my eyes open. "NO" my mind screams. No longer is the peaceful, if painful, black water surrounding me. It has been replaced by brackish, murky, freezing water. A forceful rip tide pulls me further and further away from the children I play with. "Help me!" I scream in my mind. I watch as my small weak arms bash at the water uselessly. Closing my eyes I try to make the vision go away but inexplicably I am drawn back to the macabre sight of the child drowning.

A tanned muscular hand reaches through the murky water grabbing the childs' wrist. Pain radiates through my arm at the touch. Fire shooting through my body from the contact pushing me back into the darkness. Forcing me back into the nothingness, the silence, the pain, the peace.

Hushed whispers circle around me in the depths of this ocean of pain. My entire body once again on fire. Every nerve scraped raw to the point of torture. A reddish hue colors everything as if the world were on fire around my burning body. A slow throbbing squeezes my chest. I scream as the compressing weight on my chest increases but no sound leaves my lips.

I attempt to struggle against the waves pushing me toward this bloody sunrise lighting, but it is useless. The current is too strong. The density of whatever this darkness is made of lessens, allowing my limbs to move more freely. I attempt to swim against the pressure pushing forward, but once again I am left defeated. The pain burning through my body tells me this is not a good place. I wish to return to the serene desert; I wish to look upon the quiet bird and be peaceful. I do not want to embrace this pain. I don't want to awaken to this reality.

"She's waking up." A deep male voice shouts from inches away. The bass tone of his voice reverberating in the dense air. Causing a slew of dust motes to dance through the air reflecting light in a rainbow of colors from a large window covering the entirety of the wall opposite where I lay.

I look around the room questioning where I am as five of the most beautiful people I've ever seen circle around me. They hover over me staring intently at me as I gaze up at them. Names floating through my mind slowly connecting with each face. My friends. These lovely faces belong to people who care a great deal about me. I smile knowing, despite the pain I tried to escape, I have awoken exactly where I want to be.

Pushing up on my elbows I take a better look at where I lay. The meticulously waxed and polished baby grand stands proudly on its small stage just to my left. Memories of another face flood my mind. Bronze eyes that sometimes would turn black with frustration. Music filling the air as he sat upon that bench playing the most beautiful songs ever heard by human ears.

"Where's Edward?" I ask in a voice that I am sure does not belong to me. All hint of raspiness erased from it replaced by the pure tone of crystal bells.

Esme walks toward me squatting down in front of me and taking my hands in hers. Her eyes are filled with a swirling flood of mixed emotions. Pain, disappointment, joy and concern all battle for dominance in her expression. "Memories will be difficult for you Bella. They are already fading. How much do you remember?

"Just glimpses really, Edward playing the piano." I answer unsure of if I should remember more.

A very sad, airy sigh disturbs the air brushing against my cheek like a lover's caress. Heartbreak fills Esme's eyes as she looks over my shoulder to Alice who has been standing behind the couch easily within arms reach the entire time hanging onto every word we've said. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as her breath brushes against my skin. Her scent is intoxicating; so much better than ever before. It draws me to her calling me. Without thinking I lift my hand laying it gently on hers.

My body is jolted by a charge to rival the worst of electrical shocks as pictures of an impossible past race through my mind ending in a morbid scene of death and destruction. Blood and fur lay littered around a stony pass shards of crystalline rock lay scattered as a raging purple fire consumes them as if they were kindling. The fire rages toward me as a single word escapes me as my body slumps into a heap next to the pile of broken crystal gleaming brilliantly in the ray of sunlight next to me. "NO!"

I pull my hand away from Alice's staring around me at the precious people whom only seconds ago I watched die an agonizing death. My mind struggles to figure out what is happening.

"Bella! Are you okay, you look terrified" Emmett asks from the other side of the room. His eyes showing his concern as he takes in the room as if looking for what might have upset me.

"It didn't happen. It didn't happen." I mutter shaking my head as if to shake the memory out of it. The graphic nature of the dream will not leave me though. It is so solid, so touchable as if it were not a dream but a reality. I look into the eyes of those I love more than anything else in this world knowing I would do anything to keep this... this... what the hell was this.

Alice quickly gathers me up in her arms sitting me on her lap holding me close to her as she runs her hand through my hair soothingly. "It's okay Bella. It's over now, we're all here with you. We love you Bella. You are one of us now nothing bad can happen to you I promise."

Alice's soothing voice eases my fear but does nothing to remove the graphic pictures permanently etched in my mind. Shadows of other times I have been held in her arms begin to solidify in my mind, becoming nearly as solid as the horrid movie that keep replaying as I sit gazing into her rich molten gold eyes.

"Alice?" I question, my voice weak with emotion and insecurity. "Edward didn't just leave." The questioning tone no longer in my voice. A slight edge of panic taking it's place as what must be memories fill in the gaping holes in my mind. The memories could not possibly be right though.

"No Bella, he didn't. Are you remembering what happened now?" Her musical voice whispers as her lips touch my forehead lightly her arms tightening slightly around me as if to protect me from my own mind and the harm those memories might bring. If only she knew the horror I was facing had nothing to do with Edward.

"I'm not sure. I'm remembering everything," I answer quietly not wanting to continue. "Too much." I add beneath my breath knowing everyone would hear as well as if I had shouted it.

"I know it's hard," Esme coos taking my hand into hers again, squeezing gently. "It will take some time, but everything is going to be okay."

"Alice love, why don't you take Bella upstairs to your room for a while. We are going to head to the meadow to see if we can find Edward's trail before he gets himself in trouble." Esme instructs lovingly pressing my hand to her lips once before standing and heading toward the door. Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett stand at the door waiting for her to join them.

Suddenly as if a light had been turned on everything becomes clear. How could I have not known what I was seeing. Those visions, those dreams, they seem so real because they were real... they are real. I am not being tormented by a vision or a nightmare... I am being haunted by the past.

Flying off of Alice's lap I throw myself at the door slamming it shut and breaking the lock with the force. "No!" I command all uncertainty gone from my voice. Five very startled faces stare at me as if I have lost my mind.

Breathing deeply I will myself to calm down so they will listen to what I must say. So they will hear what they must know. "No one can go to the meadow. We must all leave now."

"Alice," Carlisle questions giving me a curious gaze. "Do you know what is going on?"

"I haven't been able to see anything since half way through Bella's change. I kept looking but I could see nothing. It's as if suddenly the future has simply disappeared." Alice answers Carlisle though her eyes never leave mine, a puzzle swirls behind the love filling her stare.

I smile without effort as I allow myself to swim in the love offered in her eyes. "Bella," Emmett interrupts waving a hand in front of my face snapping me out of my daze. "Earth to Bella. Is anyone home?"

"You were saying we can't go to the meadow." Carlisle interjects. "Why must we leave? Bella, you have to tell us what is going on."

As quickly as I can I go over the memories that have haunted me since awakening and seeing myself surrounded by the people I have longed to call family for so long. I share how horrifying and dreadful the vision was and how real it felt. I explain how I could not figure out why it did not feel right. Finally with some minor trepidation, my still heart aching as if I were still human and just been forced to run ten miles, I tell them that I am sure they were not dreams. "I'm seeing the past. I don't know why but I am sure that is what I am seeing. We can't go to the meadow. I can't let that happen again. The wolves know I've been changed, and they are hunting us now."

All heads turn toward the window as one lone terrifying howl carries across the field surrounding the house. A large canine shadow appears between two tall fir trees.

"Everyone to the garage. Emmett, Rose you take the Jeep. Esme and I will take the Mercedes. Alice, you and Bella take Edward's car; we'll split up and meet in Denali." Carlisle commands as we separate following his directions.

Within seconds the engines are running and with a squealing of tires Emmett takes off following a barely visible rocky trail into the forest to the west of the house. Carlisle leaves next taking the road in towards town.

I wait anxiously for Alice to pull out, my fear growing with every second that passes. Alice sits behind the wheel lost in concentration. A small smile finally gracing her lips lighting up her face as she turns to me. Her breath caressing my face as she leans close. Without thinking I draw a deep breath of her fragrance filling my lungs and savoring her closeness.

My eyes lock with hers as she stops her lips barely an inch from mine. "I don't know what is going to happen." She whispers never breaking our gaze. "I don't care, as long as we are together."

My eyes close as she leans in. Her warm, full lips tugging softly at mine. She sucks on my lower lip gently before licking across my upper lip. Parting my lips my tongue meets hers. I moan quietly at the exquisite taste as the memory of another kiss plays through my mind. I push it back opening my eyes as my fingers run through Alice's short spikes.

Alice pulls back just barely, her lips still touching mine. "I love you Isabella Marie Swan." Her lips kiss mine once more softly. "I will love you for eternity."

A acidic burning fills my eyes as my breath hitches at her words. "I love you Alice." I whisper barely able to make the words audible.

With a smile too large to be dampened by any fear of the unknown future Alice steps on the gas barreling down the drive and heading North. Our fingers linked and resting on the armrest between us as I smile watching the trees fly past the window .

For a while shadows appear through the trunks of trees. Two or three large canines race along matching the speed of our car. An hour or so into our drive any trace of the beasts that had been following us are gone. I roll down the window wanting to feel the warm air against my face and whipping through my hair.

As the scenery changes the air temperature drops. I notice the difference but not as much as I thought I would. Snow begins dotting the roadside and large flakes drift down slowly. I gawk at them in wonder noticing for the first time how intricately the ice crystals form together to make each one unique. I turn to point it out to Alice and see her looking at me with the same awe I have been giving the snowflakes.

"I love you." I whisper bringing her delicate small hand to my lips, unable to believe this perfect angel loves me too. Alice simply smiles softly and squeezes my hand.

Hours later we pull onto a long gravel drive leading to a fairly small yet stylish cabin set deep in the woods. Emmett's Jeep and Carlisle's Mercedes sit in front of the house a thick blanket of snow already covering them. I smile contentedly knowing my family made it here without a problem.

My door opens snapping me out of my reverie. "Welcome home Bella." Alice whispers as she helps me stand before pulling me into her arms and kissing me passionately. "Esme already has our room ready for us." Alice smiles winking playfully as she releases me to take my hand.

"Oh have you seen that?" I tease, bending lower to kiss her softly before following.

"Oh yes I have seen it. That and so very much more" She answers stopping to kiss me back nibbling on my bottom lip teasingly. "And you will definitely remember it."

**AN: So are you confused? I hope not. I will spell it out anyway, just in case. Alice's visions of the future are subject to change depending on peoples actions right... Well what happens when Alice's visions are no longer just subject to the future but the past as well. She became locked in her vision because Bella was going to change the past. Once that past had been changed she could not see any future until the possibility of the past fulfilling itself became void. _ IE.. Alice can see the future and Bella can change the past._**

**OH and no this is not quite the end. Ya'll have been waiting so very patiently for something to make this worthy of a M rating.... wouldn't want to disappoint you all would I?**

**So little button right down there, please hit it and tell me what you think. *on knees shamelessly begging* PLEASE.**


	15. Chapter 15

I own none of the characters. Thanks to Disguisedasinnocent for helping me write this chapter. :D

**Heated Ice** (re-write)

**Alice POV**

Edward always said we would never see heaven. Edward lied. Heaven can be described in one word, Bella. My own personal heaven standing here behind me holding me tenderly in her arms as we watch the snow gather in deep drifts. The cars parked in the driveway below slowly being hidden beneath the blanket of white.

A chill runs through Bella causing her to shiver as my fingers dance lightly over the skin of her arms. Her body now as cool as my own can not get chilled leaving me wondering if maybe she is not as ready for tonight as she led me to believe earlier today. Stilling my hands I turn in her arms staring up into amber eyes.

"Is everything alright Bella?" I ask in a voice barely breaking a whisper. "If you need more time just tell me please. I will do anything you ask."

Her eyes lock with my own before tracing my face with such intensity I can almost feel the lingering touch of her fingers. Her hands tease slowly up and down my sides her skin soft against mine send waves of pleasure in their wake. "You don't need to do anything. Just feel." She whispers in a soft but firm voice leaning down to press her lips to mine.

My lip quivers slightly as Bella's lips touch mine. I struggle to make my eyes stay open against their will not wanting to loose sight of my beautiful angel for even a second. I want to replay this moment over and over again in my mind for the rest of my existence. I don't move other than my lips slowly and softly with hers still unsure of what she is thinking, what she is feeling. I don't want to go too fast. I simply treasure the feel of her lips against mine, the scent of her breath as I breathe in filling myself with her essence.

Bella's lips lift in one corner in her little half smirk as her kiss becomes more forceful. Her tongue runs gently along my lower lip begging entrance. Her teeth, sharp enough to pierce human skin without effort, nibble at my lip her venom stinging the more tender flesh of my inner lip just slightly as she sucks on it gently. Her small teasing strokes on my skin mixed with the slight pain of her nipping nearly driving me crazy. I don't know how much more I can take of the glorious torturing heat burning through me at every touch. Releasing my lip her tongue playfully caresses and swirls around my own flicking over the tip before a small sultry moan vibrates within our kiss. Bella scratches down along my back, her nails scratching hard along my granite skin dipping down into my pants and scraping along the top lace of my panties.

Unable to simply stand and receive her attentions any longer I clench her waist pulling her toward me and pressing my body against hers demolishing the soft brushed fabric of her blouse. "Oops," I laugh lightly looking up into her need filled eyes suddenly nervous. No longer am I afraid of moving too fast, but left stunned by the desire and strength as she clearly shows me what she wants.

Grinning down at me Bella pulls her hands out of the back of my pants and tears at the collar of my shirt ripping it from my shoulders letting it fall to the floor landing where it may. " Guess you are going to want to go shopping later..." She teases with a roll of her eyes and a small sigh staring down at my breast clad only in a delicate white lace bra. Closing her eyes with a beautiful smile her hands reach around me once again this time cupping my ass and lifting me toward her. Her nails dig into my flesh through my designer jeans. The small sound of fabric giving way under her touch makes her laugh joyfully as she carries me to the bed.

I moan softly at the slight sting of Bella's nails on my flesh. The flawless skin of her neck draws me to it. I stare at the delicate curve where her pulse once throbbed. My lips long to close around that spot now much more than I ever craved her blood. No longer do I crave something forbidden, but I must taste her. I must know the flavor of her skin. Bella's amazing taste lingers on my tongue driving me nearly crazy with want for more. Bella's scent heavy with desire fills the air around us leaving me intoxicated. Slowly I lean toward her my lips pressing around the soft skin of her neck as my tongue licks over that tender spot. The lack of movement beneath the smooth skin serves as a reminder that she is mine forever.

Bella's back arches pressing her chest against mine only for a second. Her eyes roll back and close as she allows me to nibble softly at her skin sucking on her neck wishing I had been the one to make her immortal, but at the same time loving the solid feel of her between my lips knowing she is no longer fragile that nothing can hurt her. Too soon she pulls away, in a split second with a glint in her eye she drops me to the bed. The soft mattress cushioning my fall but the metal braces of the bed frame protesting the sudden exertion.

I search only half aware for what she is planning but there are no plans, no paths to follow to her actions. She is acting on instinct blocking me from seeing what will come. "Close you eyes." Bella whispers very softly.

The sound of quiet but quick movements are my only clues as to what Bella is doing. Her weight is pressed against my shoulders as she crawls up my body her nails scratching lightly down over my breast shredding my bra. The elastic lace falls to the side replaced by the gently touch of my lovers hands.

"Open your eyes" Bella whispers, her breath blowing gently against my neck as she kisses down over my collarbone.

An involuntary growl emanates from my chest as my eyes take in Bella's perfectly sculpted nude body straddling me. Her slight weight resting on my hips and her smooth skin rubbing slightly against mine making my yearning explode.

"So beautiful." I whisper in a voice low and sultry. Placing my fingers at her temples I slowly trace down the line of her jaw and over her full lips my own curving into a small smile as they close around my finger for a second sucking on it gently. The feel of her tongue sends thrills up my arm and through my body as it swirls softly around the tip of my finger. My finger follows the soft curves of her neck down to her collar bone brushing ever so softly across the very beginning of the swell of Bella's breasts before my hands trail down her arms.

My pinkies brush against the sides of her gorgeous breasts watching as she shakes so slightly at my touch that a human could never perceive it. Never before have I been so thankful for my enhanced vision as I am now watching small nearly invisible bumps rise on her perfect skin. Her skin contracting around light pink nipples, little ridges forming around the peak as I stroke her lightly. My tongue wets my lips unconsciously as I imagine closing them around the tight buds.

"Mine" I whisper before leaning forward licking Bella's nipple softly before closing my lips around it. My hand lifts to lightly circle and tease her other nipple.

Bella's growl is almost animallistic as I stroke and flick her nipple with my tongue. Her back arches pressing her breast harder into my grasp. Growling louder Bella grabs my wrist pulling it away from her breasts. With her other hand she presses on my chest forcing me back onto the mattress.

"Stay there." Bella growls softly but with authority in my ear. Her lips close around my earlobe, without thought to her order my hands creep up her sides my fingers dancing over the skin of her hips turn involuntary to claws scratching deeply into her flesh as she bites hard on my earlobe. Her tongue flicks my earlobe quickly as it had done my nipple as she reaches across to the bedside table and take out a pair of ties. " I know these can't actually hold you, but you are going to let yourself be tied and restrained baby." Bella whispers commandingly finishing tying my wrists to the headboard. Slowly with me bound and unwilling to move she kisses across my chest letting her teeth scrape over my tingling flesh.

My eyes widen and my unnecessary breathing falters as I nod dumbly barely restraining the shiver passing down my spine at Bella's unrelenting touch. "I said I would do whatever you said, but this. Bella... I … never..." I gasp unable to finish my thought as her sharp teeth scratch the surface of my skin. The sting and burn of venom breaking the surface is a surprisingly wonderful sensation. My body arches up into Bella's. I keep my arms as still as possible trying not to break the fragile silk bonds that show my submission to her desires.

Bella's deadly teeth sharp and strong enough to pierce my skin, the only weapon that could ever pose a threat against me, dig deeply into the skin covering my collarbone. My skin burns with her venom as she sucks hard on the wound she has just made. Instead of crying out of moaning in pain I whimper at the simmering pleasure and pain from the bite knowing the mark will never fade. A smile gracing my lips as I briefly make a mental note to buy more shirts that reveal the collar bone so the entire world can see I belong to Bella.

"Never expected innocent Bella to like this did you?" Bella whispers staring up into my eyes, her lips brushing softly across my nipple as she speaks. They close over my nipple sucking on it till it peaks between her lips. Her tongue circles the hard bud. Bella grasps my hips hard pressing me down firmly into the bed as I try to rock my hips against her wanting her so badly.

Bella's fingers press firmly into my hips. A brief thought of the bruises I used to see on her pale skin when I held her too tightly come to mind. I wish for a second that it were possible for her to mark me in that way. Gently she strokes down my hips and outer thighs tracing the curve of my legs till her hands rest between them pressing gently outward till they are spred. She settles between my thighs smiling up at me as she quickly undoes the button and zipper lifting my hips with one hand as she pulls down my jeans and panties in one quick motion. Her lips caress softly up my leg in soft little kisses leaving a tingling trail behind them.

My eyes snap shut and my body jerks feeling Bella stop between my upper thighs her face only centimeters from my dark curls. Her breath heavy and fast; her fingers rub small circles on my thighs moving upward. "Please Bella." I beg needing her more than I have ever needed anything.

I moan forcing myself to open my eyes as Bella softly caresses my clit. The pressure building in my body is overwhelming created not only at her touch but at the thought that it is Bella making me feel so good. Lifting my head I stare down at Bella's beautiful amber eyes as she looks up at me, love shining in her gaze. I want to watch her right now, no longer do I have to replay visions again and again torturing myself with a future I doubted would ever happen. She is real and she is here and she.... I moan loudly no longer capable of thought.

"Watch Alice," Bella commands almost as if she had read my thoughts. Opening my eyes again. Bella's fingers stop rubbing over my clit and circle my opening her eyes boring into mine for an eternal second. She smiles sweetly before leaning down closing her lips around my clit and moaning. Her fingers thrust hard inside me. Sparks explode at the sensation of pressure on my clit mixed with the knowledge that Bella is within me filling me thrusting hard and fast.

A scream fills the room as the most amazing explosion rocks my body my eyes locked with Bella's. The sight of her face between my legs leaves me heaving for unnecessary breath. My mind lost in the swirl of pleasure and emotion is not able to recognize the sound of running feet in the hallway. Shards of wood flying around the room do not detract my attention from her. They can't draw my eyes away from the sight. Bella has drawn me in deeper than any vision I've ever witnessed, I am truly lost in her and in the pleasure she is bringing me as my muscles clench hard around her. Her fingers curling so perfectly inside me as she sucks on my clit her tongue flicking and swirling around it sends wave after wave of electricity through ever cell of my being.

Bella lips move against me, her teeth grazing my clit, the sting adding to the feeling of electricity building again, my body still shaking around her. Another scream slips from my lips as her teeth bite down softly on my clit and she slips another finger inside me moving deep and slow. Her eyes lock with mine as she whispers around my clit, "Cum for me Alice. Cum harder than you ever have before." Her fingers curl against my g-spot with ever movement her tongue flicking fast and hard over my clit.

"Bella," I growl my breath coming unevenly as my hips rock up against her uncontrollably. My body following her command without direction from my mind which is only capable of one thought right now. Her name flowing from my tongue in a cadence of moans and growls escalating in volume till my body seizes with one final moan. Time stands still as all the pressure that has been building in my body leaves me motionless. My back is arched, lifted completely off the bed, my shaking legs are closed tightly around Bella's face. With a long scream all the tension in my body releasing, my body collapses beneath her. Never have I felt so weak or vulnerable. I look into her eyes staring up at me with utter love and know I am home.

Bella kisses up my body, slowly licking up my stomach and over my breasts. She kisses each of my nipples softly before reaching my neck and kissing up to where my pulse once was. She sucks my skin into her mouth softly before finally reaching my lips and kissing me laying her body over mine.

Bella smiles down at me kissing me one more time with a playful glint in her eye. "You broke my ties." She growls before kissing me again and again.

I stroke through Bella's long hair hanging over her shoulders and ticking over my bare chest smiling up at her and laughing. "I love you." I whisper softly. My hand wraps around her neck gently pulling her toward me. I cradle her head against my chest lovingly. My eyes absently wandering around the room as waves of tingling circulate through my body.

"Um Bella," I ask as my eyes take in the destruction of the door and a very pleased looking Emmett standing next to a furious Rose and slightly befuddled Carlisle. "Your gift... do you think..."

Turning to look at our family standing at the door she questions softly, "What you want me to do then Alice?" She kisses just above where my heart would be beating as she whispers, "I love you."

"Redo?" I ask shyly thinking of the shocked faces of my family that I can't bear to look at again.

"Hmmm," She answers looking over at the mix of emotions written on each face staring at us from the demolished door. Her lips curl up at the corners as she takes in the shock and surprise. "I don't think so lover." She growls leaning in to take my lips in hers. "Nothing could make me erase that memory." Bella answers softly before kissing me again sweetly.

"Mine," I breathe as my arms wrap around Bella's shoulders and waist holding her body tightly to me. The quiet shuffling of two pair of feet sound down the hallway.

"I'm yours Alice," Bella whispers in reply snuggling into my neck. "Forever."

"For eternity," My voice quavers with emotion as my eyes close unwillingly and a vision of our future greets me.

The room is quiet around us the snow falling outside. A thump sounds down the hall causing Bella and I to turn toward the door once again.

"What do you want me to say?" Emmett growls "That was fucking hot!" Carlisle's chuckle comes from his office a split second before the thump of Rosalie's hand hitting the back of his head again and the echo of her heals as she storms out the front door. The couch groans as Emmett flops down on it, I can imagine him rubbing his head and staring grudgingly at the door, "Well it was." He mumbles.

**********************************The End*************************************


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